Although he's not so hot, or at least he definitely wasn't before he lost like 70 pounds, Jack Osbourne was always gettin' him some tail. In an interview with British reporter Vic Newton, Ozzy Osbourne said:

"Paris was always hanging around our house. I'm not sure if she was a friend of Kelly or Amy â€" which one was it, Sharon?"

Sharon looked a bit sheepish and stumbled over her words as she replied: "She was Jack's, erm, friend." Ozzy's jaw dropped and he exclaimed: "He didn't shag her, did he? Well done, my son!"

Ozzy said "well done" about Jack banging Paris Hilton? Ozzy can barely speak English. Something was lost in translation. And I hope Jack's okay. I dunno if it works just kidding, but I hope Jack washed his dick with Tilex after a Parisite encounter just like Cher's son did.

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