Is There A Single Person Who’s Surprised By This?

If so, wake up, peoples. Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine dumped tennis hottie Maria Sharapova because she sucks (figuratively) in bed. Adam said,

“She wouldn’t make any noise during sex. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog.

She even got angry if I started to moan, said it ‘ruined her concentration.’ It was so disillusioning. Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny.”

I don’t believe this quote, but I do believe that Adam would say something like this. Out of all the members of Maroon 5, Adam is the biggest a-hole. In fact, he’s the only a-hole in the group. The rest of my sexy boys are super friendly, funny, sweet, and appreciative. I also know one girl whose friend was effing Adam and another chick who effed him backstage. This man is a SLUT! I would do him anytime tho. And Imma keep on trying to. Shiiiiiiitttt!

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