Here's a recap of all the lovely drama from last night's Hills episode. I think it's time to ban Spencer from our T.V. sets.

Monday night's episode of The Hills started with Lauren Conrad and her crew at a Brody Jenner beach bash in Malibu (yes, the one where he broke his finger). Brody's BBQ happened the same weekend that Brody's ex-BFF/manager/stylist/publicist, Spencer Pratt, was to be whisked away by his lady to meet her conservative Colorado parents. While we can't fault Pratt for trying, our only issue lies with the fact that Heidi Montag seemed to misrepresent her pops, explaining how she has always longed for "a guy like her dad," and that she's found him in Pratt. If that's the case, we really have to wonder: what is it with that family?!

Back in La La Land, Lauren consoled her roomie Audrina after she miraculously realized what America already knew and kicked her beloved Justin-Bobby to the curb. The breaking point? In the immortal words of Lauren: "Homeboy wore combat boots - to the beach!" Well played, Audrina â€" one jerk is enough for Us to stomach this season.

Lest we forget Pratt's heart-to-heart with Ma and Pa Montag, MTV should be ashamed of themselves for thinking it could carry an entire episode. The meeting consisted of nothing we haven't seen before: Pratt using his mind-control techniques to convince those around him he's "a good guy," Heidi justifying her love for him, blah, blah, blah. Same old story. C'mon, MTV â€" we need substance.

Three episodes into The Hills' third season and we are already over Miss Conrad assuming the "supportive BFF" role. First she offered Heidi a shoulder to cry on, now it's Audrina's turn? Girlfriend best start charging for her advice or be prepared for a lonely lifestyle. Has she ever heard the old adage "always a bridesmaid, never a bride?"

What was Audrina thinking in the first place? Any guy who could be mistaken for a character from Talladega Nights with his name, probably has issues. I just thought he was a complete ass from the beginning. Lauren needs to find some dick of her own, too. She just seems angry that all of her friends are getting some ass but she's not. Buy the rabbit LC, it works wonders. I can't stomach seeing Heidi & Spencer's horse teeth anymore either. I just wanna file those suckers down!

source