Kevin Federline Is On Top

Who would have ever thought that broke ass "doesn't earn any income" Kevin Federline would get one of the fiercest lawyers ever?

Federsperm's midget lawyer-asshole, Mark Kaplan, just won't stop at anything. Seriously. He's all over this custody battle like Brit on a Starbucks Frapp. I don't even wanna know wtf he would ask Ms. Spears during a deposition. Something like...

Mark: Britney, when's the last time you did drugs?

Britney: Drugs? I'm a sweet girl. I don't be doin' bad stuff like that. I love my kids.

Mark: My client says he's seen you taking controlled substances on several occasions.

Britney: I've seen Kevin doing drugs, so there, y'all!

Mark: One of your drug tests came back positive for amphetamine.

Britney: I don't know how that got in there. Y'all need to leave me alone. I need some Starbucks. Your honor, judge, I'm sick! I have to go.

* Britney exits the courtroom.

The end.

Plans are underway for Kaplan to ask Commissioner Scott Gordon in the custody case to bar Britney from asking for anything more than she already has under court order. This is the fourth time Britney has been a no-show for her depo. In other words, she should not be allowed to go into court and ask to restore custody if she won't sit for a deposition to determine if she really is a fit parent.

Kaplan could ask for other penalties, including attorney's fees. He could also ask that Brit be held in contempt.

tmz