Tracey Edmonds and Eddie Murphy Split

Two weeks after their romantic nuptials off Bora Bora in French Polynesia, Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds have called it quits (their wedding was never legalized).

"After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further," he said in a statement.

"While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends."

I hate these damn statements. Who the eff stays friends after a breakup? The only time an ex-couple remains friends is when they're still having sex, just like all "friends" do.

I hope Eddie will be spending plenty of time masturbating to videos of Mel B on "Dancing with the Stars," or just masturbating period. He's such an a-hole, fugly as hell, assholish, gross. I can't wait to find out who's dumb enough to be his next ho. Good job, Tracey! Get out before spermination. :)