John Mayer Likes To Type in Code

John Mayer's got it all - looks, good hair, talent, a great sense of humor, charisma... and a blog. Yep, Mr. Mayer has been updating his online journal after he announced that it was over.

John took to his keyboard to do what we all do these days, the online F-U message:

Dear Ex Lover,
Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don't know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I'm done trying.
I hope this is enough closure for you.
Goodbye.

P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.

The last sentence is why I love this man, it contradicts everything preceding it. He's a funnyman.

Well, Johnny's message was all over the blogosphere, people were speculating, accusing and more than likely accurately guessing that he was talking about Jessica Simspon. Now John's trying to convince us that it was all a joke. John later posted:

I'm not a big fan of justifying my thoughts to people. I've known since grade school that my take on things is not for everyone, and that those who do understand how my head works seem to have a deeper connection with me for it. (Those who don't are still welcome to use the facilities.)

I wouldn't traditionally take to a blog to explain a blog, and it begs the question as to whether or not anyone who didn't understand the first one will make any sense of its follow-up, but when it involves the possibility of hurting someone else, I'll tuck my tail between my legs and explain my intentions. Even though it makes my teeth itch.

The blog - copied from my lyric/idea journal, is all about the P.S. - it's a writing technique called "deceptive resolution"; you think the story is going one way, only to find that it twists around at the end, using all its momentum to swing in another direction. In this instance, the writer of the missive is saying in as many certain terms as possible that he does not want to see his ex anymore. At the end, the P.S. leaves that all too common contradiction in terms that makes love so messed up. I call it "I wish you were here so I could tell you to leave".

This actually has some pretty far-reaching ramifications. How will I write an entire record of lyrics when one small blog passage incites so much curiosity? Can I write a song because of somebody but not about them? By way of my experiences but not as a sordid retelling of them? Because if I can't, I need to rewrite the last line to my new song "Boning you on my helicopter".

Doin' The Right Thing Like Mookie,
John

John knows the media loves his blog posts. He totally wrote that about Jessica! Heh. If you don't want a chick to stalk you, just start acting like a jerk until she dumps you, then she won't be so obsessed.

John seems like the kind of boyfriend who would be great the entire relationship, then all of a sudden he whips out his guitar and starts strumming as he stares into your eyes, softly singing poetic lyrics about why the relationship must end.

Keep blogging, John! :)

John's blog