Paris Hilton Isn’t Shallow

Here’s some application information to be Paris Hilton’s BFF on her new MTV show.

She’s seeking “hot bitches” - Translation: gorgeous, bony ass, bulimic bitches to make fun of “fat” sluts with. Must not be hotter than Paris, and frequent compliments must be given to Ms. Hilton, praising her “natural beauty.”

Paris is also seeking a “fabulous” guy - Translation: Mr. Gyllenhaal. Snarky and Joy A’s favorite reader.

True translation: A man with the fashion sense of Christian Siriano, face of Chace Crawford, ass like Matt Damon, abs like Terrell Owens, jaw like Tom Brady, smile like Kanye West, and packin’ heat like Ashton Kutcher… sorry. Getting too excited. Here goes some application details:

Now that’s hot! MTV is giving the opportunity of a lifetime to one girl or “fabulous” guy who has what it takes to become Paris Hilton’s new BFF. Finally, you have the chance to show the world that you have what it takes to achieve social stardom; allowing you unprecedented access to young Hollywood as never before. Loves It! Doron Ofir Casting is seeking “Hot Bitches” and “Fabulously Fierce Guys” who are at least the age of 21 and appear under 30.

Are you sick and tired of envying the social icons? Will you be the next pop-arazzi obsession and quintessential star of the red carpet? Prove it bitches!

This show is gonna be a hot tranny mess up in here! I can’t wait. Watching airheads battle over Paris may be like a classy version of the first season of “Flavor of Love.”

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This Entry Posted to - Attention Whore, Paris Hilton

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