March 2008 News Archive (Page 3)

Having a new baby at home hasn't extinguished the sparks between Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman!

The new parents are so determined to keep their two-year marriage red-hot that they've taken to skinny-dipping by moonlight. The couple can be heard loudly frolicking in the pool of their $11.5 million Beverly Hills mansion around midnight.

"They don't just splash around �" they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises," says a source. "We're happy that they're happy, but we wish they'd keep it down a bit. There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don't like noise after the dinner hour."

Still, the 27-year-old pop singer and her record producer husband, 30, are preferable to the house's former owner, Ozzy Osbourne, adds the source. Ozzy �" who sold the Mediterranean villa after wrapping up his MTV show, The Osbournes �" would blast "horrific, ear-splitting rock music."

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Here's some application information to be Paris Hilton's BFF on her new MTV show.

She's seeking "hot bitches" - Translation: gorgeous, bony ass, bulimic bitches to make fun of "fat" sluts with. Must not be hotter than Paris, and frequent compliments must be given to Ms. Hilton, praising her "natural beauty."

Paris is also seeking a "fabulous" guy - Translation: Mr. Gyllenhaal. Snarky and Joy A's favorite reader. :)

True translation: A man with the fashion sense of Christian Siriano, face of Chace Crawford, ass like Matt Damon, abs like Terrell Owens, jaw like Tom Brady, smile like Kanye West, and packin' heat like Ashton Kutcher... sorry. Getting too excited. Here goes some application details:

Now that's hot! MTV is giving the opportunity of a lifetime to one girl or "fabulous" guy who has what it takes to become Paris Hilton's new BFF. Finally, you have the chance to show the world that you have what it takes to achieve social stardom; allowing you unprecedented access to young Hollywood as never before. Loves It! Doron Ofir Casting is seeking "Hot Bitches" and "Fabulously Fierce Guys" who are at least the age of 21 and appear under 30.

Are you sick and tired of envying the social icons? Will you be the next pop-arazzi obsession and quintessential star of the red carpet? Prove it bitches!

This show is gonna be a hot tranny mess up in here! I can't wait. Watching airheads battle over Paris may be like a classy version of the first season of "Flavor of Love."

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Jamie Lynn Spears doesn't want no bastard kids. Tina Robinson, Casey Aldridge's cousin, confirms that Jamie and Casie are engaged!

Tina says Casey proposed "a few days ago."

Robinson says she hasn't seen a ring and didn't know whether they would wed before or after Jamie Lynn delivers."They probably weren't expecting [the proposal] to be, like, right now, but with her being pregnant, that really pushed it up."

Last night I was talking to one of my girlfriends about how, maybe in the 1950s, getting knocked up was a good way to tie down yo man. But today in the 21st century, it really just doesn't work anymore. Us poor girls are forced to lie about being on the pill, get knocked up, then seek hundreds of thousands in child support because men don't wanna marry they hos no mo'.

Jamie Lynn, I wish you all the best, babe! Stay strong and good luck. :)

The paparazzi are over Britney Spears, a top photo agency head tells us. "Over the weekend, there were less than a half dozen covering Britney" despite her imminent sitcom debut on "How I Met Your Mother," says BuzzFoto founder Brad Elterman. "Yet there were 30 in the pack covering Miley Cyrus. Most of them were Britney regulars, but they want something new and fresh. It's moved on to Miley."

See, now Britney is getting better so the pap smears don't want much to do with her anymore. Miley on the other hand is just a few upskirt shots from being a total Hollywood whore, so it's game on with her!

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Chris Brown is in London to do a few concerts and has been spotted with his girlfriend who he says is not his girlfriend, Rihanna. Sunday night during an appearance, Chris pretty much made it clear the two are together by telling the crowd:

"If I was the prince of R&B, then I would need a princess," and launching into a remix of Rihanna's hit single Umbrella.

That's right Chris, quit denying you're getting your hump on with that sexy bitch, Rihanna!

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Thomas Beatie, a transgendered pregnant man, is ecstatic to welcome a daughter into the world this July. Thomas has a vagina, but he's legally male. Thomas is in a relationship with his wife Nancy, and he spoke to The Advocate about his journey to get knocked up.

"Ten years ago, when Nancy and I became a couple, the idea of us having a child was more dream than plan. I always wanted to have children. However, due to severe endometriosis 20 years ago, Nancy had to undergo a hysterectomy and is unable to carry a child.

 

But after the success of our custom screen-printing business and a move from Hawaii to the Pacific Northwest two years ago, the timing finally seemed right. I stopped taking my bimonthly testosterone injections. It had been roughly eight years since I had my last menstrual cycle, so this wasn't a decision that I took lightly. My body regulated itself after about four months, and I didn't have to take any exogenous estrogen, progesterone, or fertility drugs to aid my pregnancy."

A year and many doctors later, Thomas got pregnant with triplets, but the pregnancy was ectopic. He lost his embryos and his right fallopian tube. His second pregnancy is a success and he's due on July 3, 2008.

I haven't heard any good Usher and Tameka drama in a while so I'm glad this story came along. The bitch on wheels, Tameka, is pretty much running and ruining everything Usher does now that she's even showing up to his video shoots. Tameka got her panties in a bunch when she found out Usher wanted Keri Hilson to be his love interest in his new video 'Love in the Club'.

Foster was "domineering" and displayed her trademark "Tameka wrath" during a video shoot for Usher's new song, "Love in the Club," the weekend of March 15 in LA. Our on-set source said Foster was upset when she found out stunning singer/songwriter Keri Hilson was personally picked by Usher to play his love interest in the video. "It was supposed to be a sexy video shoot," our spy said. "And Tameka was there the entire time guarding like a watchdog. It was ridiculous - she knows Keri and knows she's no video ho or Karrine Steffans." Steffans, nicknamed "Superhead," wrote the book, "Video Vixen," about her alleged flings with Usher and several other artists.

"Tameka is very insecure," our source said. "Even in rehearsals she was weird and clearly not happy that Keri is so gorgeous. Tameka threw a lot of attitude. The day of the shoot, Tameka dressed Keri very badly - she looked like an extra. Tameka wouldn't let Keri have her hairdresser there - she had to use the hairdresser who was doing the extras."

This ho needs to know her role and it should be keeping her ass in the kitchen! Nah, I'm just kidding. But she does need to keep her tranny looking ass at home and out of all of Usher's business crap.

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Katie Holmes is having a hard time dealing with Tom's lifestyle and has been getting headaches because of it. Crazy Tom is always on the go like a crack head looking for a fix and Katie just can't keep up. The poor girl is getting headaches and dizzy spells. I say freak boy Tom is drugging her up to keep her around.

Katie, 29, recently lunched at her favorite eatery, L.A.'s Joan's on Third, looking exhausted, her skin was pale, and she looked feeble and emaciated. "She gave us a weak smile and wave before leaving out the back door," an eyewitness at the restaurant says. And when the former ‘Dawson's Creek' actress was outside, a confused and unsteady Katie lent against the door frame before her bodyguard carefully guided her into a waiting SUV.

Katie has been suffering dizzy spells regularly, and has been suffering from splitting headaches that make her see black spots and feel faint. Sources say the problem is likely her weight. Although she's already wafer thin, she feels pressure to be even slimmer and is obsessive about dieting. Although Katie may never admit it, due to Tom Cruise's boundless energy, sources claim he may be the contributing factor to Katie's debilitating headaches. Katie's intense need to live up to the Top Gun star's expectations, is really taking its toll, both mentally and physically, say sources.

Katie's like a total robot on constant Tom download since they got together. I miss the old happy chick who would show her boobies in the movies!

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Reese Witherspoon's ex-husband Ryan Phillippe, was recently on the Howard Stern show talking about how he thinks Reese's new man Jake Gyllenhaal is a 'good dude', but tries to avoid looking at pics of Reese and Jake together.

"It's bizarre. There's plenty of times when I say, 'What a strange situation I've found myself in.' But at a certain point you know it's going to happen, so you are prepared in some fashion." Phillippe �" who dated co-star Abbie Cornish around the time of his 2006 split from Witherspoon �" was mum when it came to talking about his own love life. "It's just something I would really rather not address," he says. "It has to be a 'no comment.' "

Now isn't that a bunch of crap? It's o.k. for Ryan to talk about Reese's love life but God forbid he be asked about his own. Just admit that banging Abbie was what tore up your relationship with Reese, Ryan!

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A security breach on Facebook's website this week allowed people to access private profiles and also check out their photos. A Vancouver computer tech was able to find pics of Paris Hilton partying along with checking out her brother Barron's private page which were only suppose to be accessed by their Facebook friends.

Byron Ng, who last July cracked the security behind the then-unreleased novel Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, discovered the security hole when he was checking out an earlier breach that had been fixed by Facebook. Based on Ng's findings, The Vancouver Sun was able to access an album of clearly unedited and sometimes red-eyed, poorly lit snapshots tagged as Whitney Hilton - Paris's full name is Paris Whitney Hilton - from an album entitled Emmy Night.

From there, it was possible to view the "friends" of Whitney Hilton, a site that Ng points out could be genuine or a fake even though it includes Hilton siblings that have hundreds of friends which would be a large undertaking for someone creating a fake site. "To fake this someone would have to have a ton of her brother's pictures, a ton of her pictures and have 200 friends," said Ng.

I haven't seen these pics yet, but you know they can't be as entertaining as the ones that showed up on the Paris exposed website. If I find these pics from her Facebook, I'll post 'em. :)

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