April 2008 News Archive (Page 7)

First off, let me thank Joy for helping me out yesterday... Thank you Joy!!! I had a total cluster fuck of a day, that I didn't expect! I saw these pics just before I went on my afternoon adventure to throw down with a bank manager (I'm still angry.. haha) and I couldn't help but post them this morning. I'm sorry, but when you look like you're taking part in a Smurf village gang bang, you've gotta be made fun of. These are pics of Jessica Simpson at Tony Romo's birthday bash but it seriously looks like Smurf porn to me... That's just because I'm a total pervert and sick in the mind. Who isn't?

Jessica: Hey baby, check out this thick chunk of Smurf sperm on my cheek!

Tony: Wait, you got a little bit on your chin, lemme put that in yo mouth.

Tony: Oh wait a minute, I'll just lick it off for ya. Smurf Juice... just like blueberries! ;)

Jessica: Look! Papa Smurf's lover even took part in the gang bang!

Engagement off, tour on! Here's what Alexis told People magazine about Kanye dumping her ass.

Rapper Kanye West and his fiancée of a year and a half, designer Alexis Phifer have broken off their engagement, Phifer confirms to PEOPLE.

"It's always sad when things like this end, and we remain friends," Phifer tells PEOPLE. "I wish him the best in his future and all of his endeavors. He's one of the most talented people I've ever met."

"They'd been having problems," a pal of West's says. "Kanye is really focused on his show; he's putting everything into the show right now. Alexis is a nice girl, but Kanye has been going through a rough time. They hit a rough patch and for now they've split."

According to the friend, Phifer and West, both 30, had been spending less time together in the last few weeks as the Grammy-winning star prepared for his nationwide "Glow in the Dark" tour. "I haven't seen [Alexis] around at all the last few times I've seen him recently," the friend added.

The couple, who have dated on and off since 2002, got engaged over a lobster and pasta dinner during a vacation on the island of Capri in August 2006.

Jordin Sparks will have to temporarily cancel her performances for the rest of April on Alicia Keys' tour due to a vocal injury. I say it's nothing a little ejaculation in the back of the throat couldn't clear up. ;)

The 18-year-old singer, whose hits include "Tattoo" and "No Air," was scheduled to be the opening act on Keys' tour, which kicked off over the weekend in Hampton, Va. Washington said in addition to missing the tour's first month, Sparks was forced to cancel a planned performance at the Earth Day Network & Green Apple Festival concert in Washington, D.C.

Washington said Sparks is expected to rejoin Keys' tour in May. "Jordin Sparks is on vocal rest and is expected to make a full and complete recovery," according to a statement from 19/Jive Records. "Sparks has been going nonstop over the past two years and now she's going through the normal course of learning how to manage and care for her voice."

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Fergie's hot body in a bikini totally distracts you from lookin' at her fug face, doesn't it? She should wear a bikini everywhere she goes from now on. Bitch is looking fierce!

Justin Timberlake showed his support for ex-girlfriend Cameron Diaz at a memorial service for her late father, Emilio Diaz, in Seal Beach, California on Sunday. Diaz's other love-interest, John Mayer, also paid his respects to Emilio, who died of pneumonia last Tuesday at age 58. Entertainment Tonight reports that tropical flowers were carried inside, and some guests even wore Hawaiian clothing and leis â€" a notion her father likely would have appreciated.

It's really cool that Justin and John both showed up to support Cameron. Just because there was a break-up doesn't mean you can't still show someone who's going through a hard time that you still care. :)

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Here's the newest slut bag photos of Miley Cyrus to hit the internet. What the hell is up with showing off her bra? Disney must be so proud of their little Hannah Montana ho pics! I know a lot of you teeny boppers think it's o.k. to show off your bod, but you'll think twice about that when there's a 45 year-old dude jacking off outside your window after he has found you on myspace. Keep your shit to yourself and keep the boys guessing what's under that top.

Guess who's coming back to prime time TV? Britney, bitches! Britney Spears is set to appear on another episode of How I Met Your Mother since she did such a craptacular job the first time.

"The show is ecstatic and so is Britney. She had so much fun the first time around she really wanted to come back. It was a mutual decision to work together more." The singer/actress will do one episode, the source says. Fox studios would not confirm the appearance.

I think acting is very therapeutic for Britney cause then she can act like someone other than herself. I'm hoping she releases her video diaries on MTV so we can see the real crazy train she has been riding the last few months!

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In the new issue of In Touch magazine, they claim that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes may be heading to splitsville. Apparently Katie is tired of being a Stepford wife and wants to be normal again. She should've known normalcy was going out the window just knowing Tom is a Scientologist. If she was smart, she would have gone into protective custody after freak boy was jumping on Oprah's couch professing his love for 'Kate'.

As the three-year anniversary of her first date with movie star Cruise looms on April 29, sources claim the actress is tired of dressing up as Mrs. Cruise and playing the perfect wife in public. "Of course Katie still loves him (Tom), but she does often feel like the little wife that has to sit there quietly and smile serenely at everything he says."

But her representative insists all talk of a broken marriage and an unhappy Holmes is ridiculous. A spokeswoman says, "She and her husband enjoy a close and loving relationship."

It's only a close relationship because Tom forces Katie to keep her thumb up his ass on a daily basis. Ever since they got together she hasn't been as bubbly as she used to be and it looks like Tom wants her to have the same hair cut as him. Girl, run for the hills while you can!

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Paris Hilton is going to host a TV show in the UK for pet grooming. Since Paris owns about 17 dogs, the British must think she knows a thing or two about dog grooming. All she knows is how to put their little shitty paws through some holes in a dog jacket and parade them around like their babies.

The 27-year-old socialite has reportedly signed a deal with Britain's Living TV television channel to star in ‘Paris' Pooches', in which she will manage a beauty parlor for dogs in Bond Street, London.

"The shop is perfect for Paris. It's a subject she's passionate about and it's a way for her to break into UK TV. Watching Paris act out her Los Angeles lifestyle, in which tiaras for Chihuahuas are of real importance, should be very entertaining. And she will no doubt be hitting the clubs and parties over here in the same way she does back home."

All I can imagine Paris doing on this show is giving these dogs mohawks and dying their fur pink. I'm just hoping she gets attacked and mangled in the first episode!

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"I was so excited to be asked to sing for the Pope," Clarkson said. "It's always been a dream of mine to perform 'Ave Maria.' To have that dream come true on such a special occasion is truly a blessing."

I gotta say she did a kick ass job! I love that song!

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