Archive for May 1st, 2008
Who doesn’t love a nice plump bum to grab onto or slap as you walk by? Big booty is a true gift from above.
For a while there’s been the butt pad undies for women, now men can pad their butt and crotch areas with these boxer shorts.
What’s next? Some strap on penis that my hot date will remove right before we take it to the next level? I’ll be so disappointed I’ll have to start stocking up on KY jelly. Or I’ll be giving some of the best oral of my lifetime and the ‘looks and tastes like the real thing’ will snap off and break into my mouth, revealing a shriveled up prune cock?
Deceit is not hot. I really don’t care how big your ass is, as long as you can do what you’re supposed to with what you have, I’ll trade a flat ass for good size peen any day.
Buy one today! Heh.
LINKAGE
- Pete Wentz gets in deep - SOW
- So nasty - CK
- Cry me a river, bitch - CS
- Is John Mayer slowly coming outta the closet with his new hairdo? I know, that doesn’t make sense to me either, but I felt like typing it.
- CD
- Lil Kim is broke! - ND
- Congratulations, it’s a trainwreck! - AB
- Calling all naked girls - RR
- Sarah Jessica Parker designs the “world’s cheapest dress” - BB
- The new fashion trend every girl’s wearing these days - GB
- Justin and Madonna on stage together, pics - DS
- Oprah v. Rachel Ray - PB
- You knew it was comin’. The America’s Next Top Model recap by IBBB!
- Reason #42 why I no longer think Pete Wentz is cute - WIMB
Latina Magazine is reporting that Mariah Carey and Scrawny Cannon wed on an island yesterday. The source says that the nuptials were “very impulsive.” Is that code for piss drunk?
Da Brat was in the house and attended the ceremony. While Nick’s ex, Victoria Secret model Selita Banks, said she has “no comment” but wishes them well.
Mimi and Nick hooked up at the end of March (as in yesterday’s March, not 2007 March)! They worked on Mariah’s latest single, “Bye Bye.”
I’m not feelin’ this Mariah! Everyone was saying you were crazy a few years ago, what the fudge do you think folks will say now?! I hope Nick didn’t sign a prenup because this divorce is gonna be the divorce of the decade.
Anyone else think celebrities should be exempt from the right to get married?!
Us
Former NBA star Dennis Rodman was arrested Wednesday night for domestic violence, a spokesperson for the Los Angeles Police Department confirms.
“LAPD officers were called out to investigate a domestic dispute in a [Century City, California] hotel,” Public Information Officer Sara Faden tells Us. “During the investigation, police learned that Dennis Rodman struck a woman, who suffered injuries to her arms.”
The basketball player, who was once married to Carmen Electra, was charged with the felony and taken into custody.
Rodman was released early this morning from jail, TMZ.com reports.
As the days of this week passed by, Miley Cyrus dominated the gossip rags, and Lauren Conrad’s sextape was also mentioned about a dozen times. Spencer already talked about the tape on the Tyra Banks Show, then he speed dialed Us magazine and gave them another “exclusive,” the sex tape exists or sumthin’ or other. Fart.
“Jason’s statement couldn’t be more transparent. Notice how he uses present tense, ‘I DO not have a sex tape… one DOES not exist. We all know that it existed, that he tried to sell it and is now covering up to make himself look better,” Pratt added.
In an attempt to extend his 15 minutes of fame, Spencer is still talking about an alleged sex tape that TMZ said sucked ass anyway. I wish there was an LC sex tape. And I wish she was featured giving oral to Jason while he takes a dump, having threesomes with trannies, saving dolphins, creating a new formula for alternative fuel, feeding children in Africa, arm wrestling Osama bin Laden, finding the cure for cancer, having tea with Albert Einstein, rapping with Tupac, then going golfing with Ghandi and smoking a cigar with Bill Clinton.
That is the only Lauren Conrad sex tape I would be interested in. And with Spencer and Heidi flapping their gums at the rate they’re talking about it, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has lost interest. A sex tape that I’ve been hearing about for two years better be so damn good I’d throw out my entire porn collection. But An LC tape, featuring some boring, curveless bitch, please!
I’m waiting for the Spencer Pratt LC sextape book to come out soon. I don’t know what Spencer needs to do next so that he can feel like he’s told the world a thousand times that some dumb tape exists where a girl in a monogamous relationship has sex with her dumbass, racist meathead boyfriend. I don’t care, Spencer! And I may ban your ass from POTP for a while because you live for attention.
Jessica Ono is telling all to Glamour magazine, where she talks about her romance with Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo.
Just because your cooter was all dried out after John Mayer doesn’t mean you should be this excited to have a new man. I feel bad for her. Jess needs to shut up because Tony’s using her for sex and he’s an athlete! Yeah. They’re monogamous and faithful. This breakup is gonna be painful.
Here’s some excerpts:
Now, she tells the June issue of Glamour, that she is “in love” with the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, whom she says helped her gain more confidence. She says she even wrote him a song, “Back in My Old Boots.”
“He reintroduced me to myself,” Simpson says. “I thought that I had to be deeper, more profound and more artsy. You change with the guys you date.”Tony taught me that because he loves me [as me]. He made me feel comfortable [being myself] again,” she adds.
She dismisses critics who claimed she jinxed his career by showing up at one of his football games that he lost last year.
“Everybody takes everything out on me! But that was ludicrous,” she says. “I don’t understand why they think that I would be a distraction to Tony. Do they really think he can see way far up in that box? No.” - I love my lil Simpson airhead, but NO ONE said Tony was staring at your ditzy ass during his game. Commentators and angry fans said that your presence in the stadium made him nervous. Your presence was a distraction. You don’t have to stare at someone to get anxious, Jess. Name one athlete who stares at his or her significant other while playing a game?! Airheads shouldn’t give interviews.
On their first date, Simpson admits, “I had butterflies that you would not imagine. I wanted to puke in the cup holder … It took me forever to put together an outfit!”
He tried to kiss her on their first date. “I was taken aback….“The fact that this guy, on our first date, in the first 10 minutes of dinner, wanted to lean over the table and say, ‘This is my girl, and I want to kiss her’ — our first kiss in front of everybody — was awesome,” she says.
Jess is digging her own grave.
source
Who doesn’t love a nice plump bum to grab onto or slap as you walk by? Big booty is a true gift from above.
What’s next? Some strap on penis that my hot date will remove right before we take it to the next level? I’ll be so disappointed I’ll have to start stocking up on KY jelly. Or I’ll be giving some of the best oral of my lifetime and the ‘looks and tastes like the real thing’ will snap off and break into my mouth, revealing a shriveled up prune cock?
