Archive for May 1st, 2008

Jessica Simpson Opens Up About Tony Romo

May 1st, 2008

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Jessica Ono is telling all to Glamour magazine, where she talks about her romance with Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo.

Just because your cooter was all dried out after John Mayer doesn’t mean you should be this excited to have a new man. I feel bad for her. Jess needs to shut up because Tony’s using her for sex and he’s an athlete! Yeah. They’re monogamous and faithful. This breakup is gonna be painful.

Here’s some excerpts:

Now, she tells the June issue of Glamour, that she is “in love” with the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, whom she says helped her gain more confidence. She says she even wrote him a song, “Back in My Old Boots.”

“He reintroduced me to myself,” Simpson says. “I thought that I had to be deeper, more profound and more artsy. You change with the guys you date.”Tony taught me that because he loves me [as me]. He made me feel comfortable [being myself] again,” she adds.

She dismisses critics who claimed she jinxed his career by showing up at one of his football games that he lost last year.

“Everybody takes everything out on me! But that was ludicrous,” she says. “I don’t understand why they think that I would be a distraction to Tony. Do they really think he can see way far up in that box? No.” - I love my lil Simpson airhead, but NO ONE said Tony was staring at your ditzy ass during his game. Commentators and angry fans said that your presence in the stadium made him nervous. Your presence was a distraction. You don’t have to stare at someone to get anxious, Jess. Name one athlete who stares at his or her significant other while playing a game?! Airheads shouldn’t give interviews.

On their first date, Simpson admits, “I had butterflies that you would not imagine. I wanted to puke in the cup holder … It took me forever to put together an outfit!”

He tried to kiss her on their first date. “I was taken aback….“The fact that this guy, on our first date, in the first 10 minutes of dinner, wanted to lean over the table and say, ‘This is my girl, and I want to kiss her’ — our first kiss in front of everybody — was awesome,” she says.

Jess is digging her own grave.

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Jessica Alba - Huge and Hot

May 1st, 2008

How gorgeous is Jessica Alba? Even when she looks like a grape hot air balloon, she’s still beautiful. Her hair looks great too.
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Who Knew Mimi Was This Desperate?

May 1st, 2008

Mariah Carey is desperate for a man and more attention as she pulls a Paris Hilton & Benji Madden publicity stunt.

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According to the insider, Nick bought the pricey ring for his lady at Jacob & Co. for a whopping $2.5 million and was overheard telling owner Jacob Arabo that they’re going to marry.

Funny, I added a “not gonna last” label today and I never knew I’d have to put it to use on multiple posts within one day!

When Mariah and Nick split, I totally have to hunt him down and kidnap him. What’s so special about this scrawny dude with the corny jokes?! I met this chick at a party, a friend of a friend, who went to school with him. Nick’s sweet and all, but I’ve gotta utilize my connections so I can witness his optimal charisma in the bedroom and intoxicating touch. He doesn’t even have swagger?! Have fun, Mariah. :)


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Lindsay Lohan Has A Brother Named Clay Aiken

May 1st, 2008

Look at that resemblance! Oh. My. Eyeballs. I’ve uncovered some ish here.Photo of Lindsay Lohan Has A Brother Named Clay AikenPhoto of Lindsay Lohan Has A Brother Named Clay Aiken (more…)


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Good Luck, Jen!

May 1st, 2008

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The wonderful voyeurs at InTouch magazine have published pictures of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer in full-on couple mode.

John Mayer is crazy about Jennifer Aniston. He flew to Miami on April 23 to hang out in the $3,000-a-night presidential suite at the Mandarin Oriental, where Jen has been staying while shooting the movie Marley & Me. And the two were inseparable over the long weekend.

Maniston leaves me speechless. With the exception of Vince Vaughn, she can’t stay away from the pretty boys. If she wants a long lasting relationship, with her choices in male sluts, she has a better chance of moving into the Playboy mansion, getting Hef to knock her up with triplets and kicking Holly’s silicone ass to the curb!

John Mayer’s new tattoo sleeve is pretentious for a soulful crooner, isn’t it? But I still love his hair.


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