Should I Stop Mentioning Spencer Because of the Lauren Conrad Sextape?

As the days of this week passed by, Miley Cyrus dominated the gossip rags, and Lauren Conrad’s sextape was also mentioned about a dozen times. Spencer already talked about the tape on the Tyra Banks Show, then he speed dialed Us magazine and gave them another “exclusive,” the sex tape exists or sumthin’ or other. Fart.

“Jason’s statement couldn’t be more transparent. Notice how he uses present tense, ‘I DO not have a sex tape… one DOES not exist. We all know that it existed, that he tried to sell it and is now covering up to make himself look better,” Pratt added.

In an attempt to extend his 15 minutes of fame, Spencer is still talking about an alleged sex tape that TMZ said sucked ass anyway. I wish there was an LC sex tape. And I wish she was featured giving oral to Jason while he takes a dump, having threesomes with trannies, saving dolphins, creating a new formula for alternative fuel, feeding children in Africa, arm wrestling Osama bin Laden, finding the cure for cancer, having tea with Albert Einstein, rapping with Tupac, then going golfing with Ghandi and smoking a cigar with Bill Clinton.

That is the only Lauren Conrad sex tape I would be interested in. And with Spencer and Heidi flapping their gums at the rate they’re talking about it, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has lost interest. A sex tape that I’ve been hearing about for two years better be so damn good I’d throw out my entire porn collection. But An LC tape, featuring some boring, curveless bitch, please!

I’m waiting for the Spencer Pratt LC sextape book to come out soon. I don’t know what Spencer needs to do next so that he can feel like he’s told the world a thousand times that some dumb tape exists where a girl in a monogamous relationship has sex with her dumbass, racist meathead boyfriend. I don’t care, Spencer! And I may ban your ass from POTP for a while because you live for attention.

This Entry Posted to - Assholes, Attention Whore, Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Lauren Conrad

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