Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's Baby is Doomed

This bitch is knocked up! Every pic I see of Ashlee, she looks thicker. Not confirming your pregnancy is the new, 'that's hot!' or 'I'm bringing sexy back.' Still following? Didn't think so. I just miss those catch phrases. Anywho, this baby is in trouble.

You know Ashlee and Pete are totally gonna get high with their kid, show it how to roll joints, apply guyliner, flat iron your hair, dress emo. It's gonna be one big mess. This baby's gonna have some tattoos by the time he or she hits 8th grade. Future train wreck alert and destined for rehab! Lovin' it.