Even with hand-on-ass, Michael Phelps still looks like a dork. I'm not saying he doesn't have stamina and couldn't bang ya for four days straight - screw Viagra's four hours - but he's a nerd. A nerd who can get more ass than Tommy Lee and Brody Jenner combined right now. Michael's just like, 'Watch me in action, and suck my big ears, losers!'

I'll suck more than that for ya Michael. I'll suck your knees, too. Heh. Gotta keep it clean for the kids.

radar