Sarah Silverman is So Not Over Jimmy Kimmel

Sarah, doll face, you’re hilarious. And pretty. Jimmy Kimmel? He looks like he’s squinting, and he’s got a gut, and his O-face must suck, because let’s face it, his face already looks like he’s stuck in mid-climax. Like, no one keeps their eyes fully open when they cum, and his eyes look halfway closed already, which means you can’t trust him. Never trust a man with a bad O-face. It’s a red flag that things will not end in your favor.

Sarah Silverman isn’t over her Jimmy, so she dolled herself up to flaunt her sexy while accepting her award at the Creative Arts Emmys for her (I’m you know what-ing Matt Damon), letting the crowd know Jimmy Kimmel dumped her ass. Anyone else see this breakup coming?

“Let’s be honest, Matt Damon had very little to do with this being popular. Thanks to the person for whom this whole video was made: Jimmy Kimmel, who broke my heart �” ohh, who’ll always have a place in my heart.

Kimmel and Silverman split in July. The Creative Arts Emmys air on E! Saturday Sept. 20.

At least she got a friggin’ Emmy outta her breakup. All I get is a high cell phone bill, less sleep from all the porn watching, pricey tabs at the bar and hairy legs because I’m no longer inspired to shave.

We all need some compensation after a heart-wrenching split.

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