Unlike Goldilocks, a man who stumbled into the wrong suburban Washington, D.C., home after drinking too much found the bed there just right.
Bob and Joanne Breiner returned home from a night out to find a man with a white beard nestled in their bed, sound asleep.
The man accidentally went to the Breiners’ house after apparently getting off at a bus stop eight miles from his own home, police said. He entered through the unlocked front door.
The dude got all comfy. Joanne noticed something was diff when she noticed aluminum foil crumpled up on the counter along with a missing crab cake. Minutes later her hubby went to the master bedroom, flipped the lights and noticed the random intruder.
The couple got their 16-year-old son and got the hell outta there, not even grabbing their car keys or any of their stuff.
Police quickly arrived, made their way to the master bedroom and woke the man by shaking him. Breiner said he asked the officers what they were doing in his house.
O.M.G. This is where the story becomes really heartwarming! I didn’t even know. I was just writing it out as I was reading this right now. Check it:
The family decided not to press charges after learning the man had lost his job three weeks earlier, and police declined to identify him. Joanne Breiner even packed up some ribs and leftover soup for officers to give him.
How sweet! How considerate. How something-I-totally-would-not-do. I feel all fuzzy inside after reading that. Have a great weekend all.
Everything Dave Lehre does is a must see. He’s that hilarious. And now, for your viewing pleasure, here’s Dave Lehre’s Facebook: The Movie video. Hollywood’s hottest up and coming director never disappoints.
I bitterly regret using cocaine. Apart from anything else, it made my hair fall out. It started falling out in my partying years, because excessive cocaine abuse affects the adrenal system and halts hair growth. I’m lucky it grew back.
I dunno how I never knew that! You learn something new every, like, three times a year, at least in my case. Ha.
Seth Rogen will play a supporting role in I’m With Cancer, a comedy about the deadly disease.
The Hollywood Reporter says Seth will also produce the Will Reiser flick penned by partner Evan Goldberg and Ben Karlin, former head writer for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
The story’s based on Reiser’s own story, focusing on his diagnosis with cancer at the age of 25 and how he uses comedy to cope with his mortality.
I think I really have to see this first before I can decide how offended I am by it. Right now I’m 50% surprised, 50% curious.
Granny Conrad has landed the November cover of Cosmopolitan magazine, but they couldn’t put her on there without giving her some tits first. They also forgot to take out the wrinkles around the eyes, because the boobs are so much more important. As with just about every picture on this site, you can click to enlarge.
On a sidenote, what does botox do when you inject it into your ass cheeks? Has anyone tried it? I’m gonna have to do some research and find out. I think I’d love to give it a try for an extra boom in the bum.
Lindsay Lohan is reported to have turned to LA police after becoming the victim of vile abuse.
The actress, who is currently the close companion of DJ Samantha Ronson, 31, is said to have received ‘Biblical’ threats at 3 different Californian addresses.
Now she has been assigned a police guard to protect her.
Meanwhile, lawyers for Lindsay, 22, have filed a motion to prevent the paparazzi from filming her when she gives evidence in an upcoming court case involving her close friend, reports Access Hollywood.
These threats are definitely coming from Michael Lohan. I dunno how I didn’t think of that first. I was initially gonna blame Jesus freaks. Michael Lohan is a Jesus freak and an obsessive, controlling neurotic fool. Lindsay should investigate this further so she can catch her dear old papa or his cronies. That’s my first time using the word “cronies,” I feel gray-haired.
Kim Kardashian may have lost some weight. Her face looks longer and she just looks different. Her thigh is thick but her face looks slimmer. Weird.
Kim Kardashian – who said she’d “totally go back” to Dancing with the Stars to replace injured contestant Misty May-Treanor – is ready for the call after picking up some makeup essentials Thursday at a MAC store in West Hollywood.
Avril Lavigne’s two year marriage to Deryck Whibley, 28, may be falling apart. While 24 year-old Avril has been touring, Deryck has been seen partying non-stop and rubbin’ up on some other ho.
On Oct. 2 Avril was performing in China while Deryck was spotted with some brunette beauty
“It seemed as if Deryck and his woman couldn’t keep their hands off of each other They huddled at a private table, and Deryck had his arm around her and was holding her hand.”
The Ontario natives - who wed in July 2006 - have been virtually leading separate lives, according to the insider.
The two have tried relying on long distance phone calls and e-mailing to hold their troubled relationship together. But while 24-year-old Avril has been touring the world, Deryck has back-burned his career in favor of partying, say sources.
There was also an incident in late August when Deryck and his friends almost got into a fight at a club. Avril was upset about it, and when Deryck went to Japan to join her on tour, he hit up clubs in Tokyo instead while she was working.
Honeymoon phase is over!!!! Avril can do so much better. I hate it when people say that shiz when you’re in a relationship, but in Avril’s case it’s oh so true.
