I Would Have To Buy a New Mattress
Unlike Goldilocks, a man who stumbled into the wrong suburban Washington, D.C., home after drinking too much found the bed there just right.
Bob and Joanne Breiner returned home from a night out to find a man with a white beard nestled in their bed, sound asleep.
The man accidentally went to the Breiners’ house after apparently getting off at a bus stop eight miles from his own home, police said. He entered through the unlocked front door.
The dude got all comfy. Joanne noticed something was diff when she noticed aluminum foil crumpled up on the counter along with a missing crab cake. Minutes later her hubby went to the master bedroom, flipped the lights and noticed the random intruder.
The couple got their 16-year-old son and got the hell outta there, not even grabbing their car keys or any of their stuff.
Police quickly arrived, made their way to the master bedroom and woke the man by shaking him. Breiner said he asked the officers what they were doing in his house.
O.M.G. This is where the story becomes really heartwarming! I didn’t even know. I was just writing it out as I was reading this right now. Check it:
The family decided not to press charges after learning the man had lost his job three weeks earlier, and police declined to identify him. Joanne Breiner even packed up some ribs and leftover soup for officers to give him.
How sweet! How considerate. How something-I-totally-would-not-do. I feel all fuzzy inside after reading that. Have a great weekend all. 
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