Good lord, sweet Jesus, mother of Mary, Moses and Ryan Seacrest! Madonna cut off her hubby Guy Ritchie from sex for 18 months.

The singer insisted on sticking to her strict four-hour daily exercise regime despite Guy's pleas they should spend more time together.

It meant the film director went 18 months without having sex with his wife. And on the rare occasions when they did make love, he has told pals it was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle".

A close friend of the couple told us: "He got more and more frustrated as she spent nearly half the day working out. Afterwards she'd be too tired to make love. And towards the end Guy wouldn't be there. He'd get fed up waiting for her and go down the pub with his mates."

Isn't an incentive for working out the stamina that you'll be able to utilize in the bedroom? Madge is the girlfriend and wife from hell. Who would even wanna go down on her? If she jerks with pleasure too quickly she'll bump you in the temples with her iron thighs and knock ya out cold for the night.

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