Kanye West has finally given us what we've been asking for - a caps only blog rant. But a caps lock rant doesn't live up to its true potential without the excessive use of exclamation marks placed between at least every few sentences. Ye sounds pretty composed and more sensical than I prefer, and he had the nerve to use spell check first.

Kanye types about his latest paparazzi "attack" which led to his mandatory arrest.

WHO'S WINNING, ME OR THE MEDIA?

REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH LIGHT I PUT OUT, THERE ARE PEOPLE WORKING JUST AS HARD TO ONLY DELIVER DARKNESS. IF YOU LISTEN TO MY MUSIC, HOW COULD I DELIVER SO MANY POSITIVE UPLIFTING MESSAGES AND BE THE MONSTER THAT THE MEDIA PAINTS. PAPARAZZI GIVE REAL PHOTOGRAPHERS A BAD NAME. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, THEIRS ARE WORTH A THOUSAND DOLLARS...

LET US NOT FORGET THE PAPS KILLED PRINCESS DIANA. WHEN WILL THERE BE A LAW PASSED THAT SIMPLY ENFORCES THAT SOMEONE HAS TO ASK TO TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU. THAT WOULD SEEM LIKE COMMON COURTESY. RIGHT NOW THE PAPS ARE ABOVE THE LAW AND THE PEOPLE THEY SHOOT ARE BELOW IT. WHAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IS PICTURES TAKEN WITH THE INTENT TO SELL....LIKE DRUGS WITH THE INTENT TO SELL... OR CROSSING CUSTOMS WITH ENOUGH MERCHANDISE TO HAVE THE INTENT TO SELL. THE EXPLOITATION OF MY IMAGE IS THE PROBLEM.

What the mother truck?!

I was chugging down sake in my room last night watching Grey's Anatomy with my roommate, and the episode featured Denny, Izzie's ex-fiance who Izzie kinda sorta killed. He died a season ago, and suddenly he's back, talking to her and shiz. Fine. I've seen ghost characters before. I'll deal.

Denny tells Izzie to touch him at different points in the episode; she gets pissed and tells him to leave her alone. Then during the final minutes of the show, Izzie gives in and puts her palm on his chest. He uses his other hand to wrap around hers and she goes, "You're real!" And she's crying. And she's psycho.

I then said, "Dude, I wanna have sex with a dead guy!" to my roommate. She was in hysterics. I said that before ABC aired what was to come on next week's Grey's Anatomy episode, and you guessed it - Izzie and Denny are having sex!

Izzie's having sex with a dead guy. Great. Grey's has hit an all-time low. The story line reminds me of NBC soap, Passions. Passions used a midget to play the character of a doll! It was one of the most disrespectful roles a dwarf could ever play. The doll would talk and etc. like a real person. My sister and I thought it was hilarious, but givin' it up to a ghost? Not so funny, just ridiculous.

OKAY, I just read a few sites - people think Izzie has a brain tumor and that's why Denny's back. Something better be wrong with Izzie cause right now I think the script is dumb as hell. Oh, and I still wanna have sex with a ghost, but only if he's sexy.

Fans are pissed at how dumb Grey's is over at the LA Times. I'm not alone.

* HOT LINKS *

"Rich-as-Fuck Celebrities Not So Rich-as-Fuck Anymore" - CNW

I want this for Christmas - OMG

Paula Abdul's stalker was crazy!! Pretended to be Abdul's ex-boyfriend so Paula would call her - CS

Scientific analysis of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's relationship - CK

Haha! - AB

SNL hires two new female cast members - BB

Kanye West's cocky new interview. He loves this shiz - WIMB

The Hills script exposed - IBBB

Tila Tequila's talks about Vegas hookup rumors - GB

Amy Wino hits the streets while holding a bottle of vodka - CW

Yes, she is one of my favorite female celebrities, she plays Shane on Showtime's The L Word. Dunno if you watch the show or know who I'm talking about, but now you will.

Katherine is my Samantha Ronson. I can't even begin to describe her sexy, maybe that's because it has no beginning nor end. Its presence and existence is immeasurable. Watch out, I'm deep!

Katherine's L Word character, Shane, is a total vixen. She enjoys sex, has lots of it, has a deep voice, the hottest punk hairstyles, and if you looked up 'swagger' in the dictionary, there would be a photo of Katherine Moenning beside it.

I was clubbing in Hollywood on Tuesday night for a gay and lesbian benefit show put on by non-profit organization Lifeworks when I was on the red carpet waiting for her. She peeked her head out and ran in the opposite direction. I was told the spotlight isn't her thing.

After the event I hung out with my friend and her crew. My friend's friend's friend is dating Katherine. A few people started to approach her. I waited my turn and waltzed in, said sumthin wicked and original as hell like, 'Hello, I'm ..." as we shook hands.

Katherine lit up and said, "Hi, I'm Kat!" I then said, 'I know you don't really like to ya know talk to people because it's annoying, but I just had to say hi. I love you so much. I'm like obsessed with the L Word. I like watch the DVDs and just sit there for like 3 days watching the whole thing. I just love you." She was very gracious, looked deep into my eyes the entire time as I spoke and then as she was thanking me. She wants me too.

I also told her how great she looks, all natural without makeup. Damn! We then said our thank yous and goodbyes. I've met some famous jerks, so it's always a pleasure to find out that the people you support are nice.

I would go into detail about who she's dating, but I won't. My friend that I met up with wanted my site's address - you know I don't give that out to people, but I was drinking - and since she's directly connected to Katherine, I don't think it's right for me to put all of Katherine's business out there: like what she was wearing, what she was drinking and who she's banging, like I'd like to.

It was good times. Sometimes I just love living in L.A. Y'all should come out and visit me, we can all be Sasha Fierce for one night and show the other tourists how it's done.

On Jennifer Aniston:

"It's really nice to have somebody in life have your back. That girl knows me ... so whether I go to bed alone or not, to have somebody who knows you in this world, that's a really nice thing."

On rumors he's gonna have a variety and sketch show on CBS:

"There are rumors. I'm going to keep them rumors for the time being. I want everything to be as baked as possible before it comes out of the oven.

If Mayer were to have a show, he said, "it would be nice to go back to a form of entertainment that doesn't involve judging and criticizing. I'd like to entertain people with their phones down. It's time to watch TV and be entertained by great artists without having to have a say in it."

John could actually be in love with Jennifer and hope she's "the one," but it wouldn't be until 12 years and 2.3 kids together later that I'd start to believe it.

I haven't read Twilight but I am loving the hype!!! I worked at a bookstore and I witnessed the madness first hand. First time novelist Stephenie Meyer's vampire series books fly off shelves and the movie will probably outperform industry estimates. It makes me ridiculously excited when I see young kids inhaling books. We can never have enough literacy here in the States.

Anyway, the Twilight series is like Anne Rice for kids. I need to really get into these books; I heard they're amazing and have some racy sexiness in 'em too.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the studio has also secured the services of Twilight screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg to pen New Moon and Eclipse, the second and third installments of the would-be blockbuster franchise.

Further ensuring squeals from the masses: Lead bloodsucker Robert Pattinson is also on board for the first three films.

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Last week at Pure night club in Las Vegas, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were fighting over dick.

Lindsay was flirting with a guy and Sam was ballistic. Lindsay says she loves Sam more than anything but she just can't help that she is attracted to the opposite sex.

Lindsay thinks Samantha and her should come to some "sort of understanding" where Linds is able to have an open relationship with men, minus the guilt.

Last night Sam was DJing in London where her maneater girlfriend was in the VIP room the entire time chugging down vodka Red Bulls with her security guards while Sam performed in the main room.

Hmmm... Sam's in deep denial over Lindsay's heterosexuality, makes ya wonder if Lindsay's the hottest chick Sam's bagged before? Haha. Bagged, like she's food. Well Sam is a lesbian...

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With those bangs, she really doesn't care who the hell thinks she's hawt or not. Jessica has that hair for her new movie, but she could have easily pulled her bangs back so she could be more "red carpet ready," but she didn't. She typically goes for a natural look instead of conforming to industry standards of superficial beauty. I wish she could mentor Xtina Aguilera.

Who's the hostess with the mostest? Why Alicia Keys, whose 5th annual Black Ball brought together talent (Timberlake and John Mayer) and a bevy of beauties, like mom Jessica Alba and Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi.

Rihanna performing in Singapore pictures.

I can only name a few people who flawlessly execute fierceness on a consistent basis. Rihanna be one of dem bitches. What's RiRi's secret? She should make a fragrance, that's how much I believe in the mystical powers of Princess RirRi. Maybe if I rub that juice around my special place I could turn my one night stands into two nighters.

I genuinely believe that Paris is in love with a Madden troll. This is scary, all.

Paris Hilton and beau Benji Madden strike a seriously fierce pose on the red carpet for a pre-screening of the latest 007 action flick, Quantum of Solace, Thursday in Los Angeles.