December 2008 News Archive

Editor's Note: Here's my top 10 craziest Google searches (in Italics) that led people to this site, non-italicized words = my commentary.

1. mormon lotion - I think I'd get knocked up if I ever tried to use this as a lube, but I'm interested in trying out some of this in aloe for the hand and body.
2. indian girls pissing and pit - Is this some kind of ritual I can get in on?
3. married sluts - Sounds like a hot porn.
4. hey google what's eminem been up to - Haha. Me and Google be tight too. Hey Google, what's Oprah's checking account pin number?
5. small, penis photos - Yes, you are still small even if you find pictures of men who are smaller.
6. lookin' good for jesus - Are you showing some tits, butt cleavage or testicles? If not, you're completely overdressed.
7. what is panty pudding - Body fluids that flow like a river in the mom jeans of Claymates at a Gayken concert before, after and during the show.
   
8. hairy girls crotch - I'm having visuals of this one girl from gym class in middle school. I'll leave it at that.
9. patty the pussing pimple - Hmmmm.... This character needs to be written into Hannah Montana somehow. Patty could be chipper, yet edumacational.
10. the hottest bulge in the west - My gut. WESTSIIIIDE, fool! I be makin' it rain on dem skinny ass hoes. Stuntin' is a habit.

Check out them hawt arm bracelets on a crackhead seeking help at a hospital. Classiest bitch in the game. I think what I love most about Wino is that she looks like she crawled out of a sewer most days, but still takes the time to apply her makeup.

Amy's ex Alex Haines, who she was sleeping with while Blake was and still is encarcerated, sold her out to trashy UK tabloid News of the World. Alex alleges that Amy has crack for breakfast, spends $3,500/ week on drugs, has to have a crack pipe near her, cuts herself and wants sex all the time. Ya know, all the per usual Amy Winehouse shiz you hear often.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Sheree "some seven odd figures" Whitfield is losing her house while awaiting her divorce settlement. Happy New Year, bitch!

Just how broke ass is this conceited diva ho? So broke that she is being kicked out of her mansion because she can't afford mortgage payments. Quick! Someone help her with that She by Sheree clothing line.

And karma really ain't pretty, rumors have been swirling that Sheree's been bouncing checks all over Atlanta, including a $386 dollar check for a cake. So embarrassing, but this just makes me even more excited for season 2.

Info on the crib Sheree's about to lose:

SELLER: Bob and Sheree Whitfield
LOCATION: 5525 Long Island Drive, Atlanta, GA
PRICE: $2,850,000 (off market)
SIZE: 8,903 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 8 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Benecki built resale home on large private gated lot. Quality throughout, nanny suite with separate entrance located over garages.

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Mariah Carey is still not pregnant.

The singer was spotted sipping red wine and eating oysters -- no-nos when expecting -- in St. Barts on Tuesday. Carey also showed off her bikini bod as she toasted wine with her husband Nick Cannon at hot spot Nikki Beach.

But kids could still be in the couple's future.

"I couldn't imagine anybody that I've ever met being a better dad [than Cannon]," she said earlier this year.

Awwww! I want Mariah to get knocked up soon with a daughter because that baby will be one hell of a diva with diamond encrusted diapers. I also want her to get knocked up because she's the new J.Lo, we'll be hearing about how much she wants kids every month until it happens. Help!

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Following the beat of his own drums, Entourage star Adrian Grenier takes a seat behind his drum set Monday night at the Beach Road Hotel in Sydney where his band, The Honey Brothers, rocked the house.

Sigh. Some rumors are so fun, I run with 'em, trusting and hoping that there's a sliver of truth in them. Turns out the Britney Spears dating a Bollywood choreographer story was just bullshit sprinkles.

E! did some great fact checking.

"Britney is not in India," says one Britney source, while another dubs the report a "total fabrication."

Among the erroneous info being shoveled, the U.K. tabloid noted that the Circus singer's supposed new boyfriend, Sandip Soparrkar, choreographed her "Womanizer" video. In fact, the video was choreographed by her longtime choreographer Andre Fuentes.

Sources tell E! News that Britney, who on Dec. 23 wished fans a "Happy Holidays" on BritneySpears.com by sending out a holiday card with her two boys, spent Christmas at home in Los Angeles.

Britney reportedly left L.A. via private jet on Sunday afternoon and headed to Kentwood, La., where, a Britney fansite reports, Sean and Jayden are with mom.

Though we haven't been able to confirm it yet, Britney is expected to stay in Louisiana for the reported Dec. 31 New Orleans wedding of her brother, Bryan, and his fiancée, Graciella Sanchez, Jamie Lynn's manager.

pic source

50 Cent continues to fail. Yum! The power has gone out on 50 Cent's reality show "50 Cent: The Money and the Power." MTV has canceled the show because of its disappointing ratings and the series will be permanently shelved. Donald Trump had predicted 50's flop,

The multi-millionaire said that "The Money And The Power" will fail, because it was a rip off of his TV series "The Apprentice."

Fiddy's new album Before I Self Destruct was also supposed to be released this month but has been pushed back until next year.

That's what 50 gets. He should have retired like he promised to after Kanye West outsold him last year. The less I see of 50 Cent on TV, the less I have to squint my eyes. I love an upbeat, feel good celeb gossip story. :)

MadTV's Britney Spears, "I'm More Wizer" video. Enjoy.

They're reporting that she dropped over $5,000 on 31 dresses and even give a minute-by-minute breakdown: "Paris Hilton spends $140 a minute in Chapel Street, Melbourne, shopping spree" is one headline.

One of their charity chiefs is disgusted. "In World Vision terms, $5000 would ensure that a village of 2000 people in Africa or Asia would have clean water for the rest of their lives," says World Vision of Australia head Tim Costello.

The paper also believes that Paris Hilton's shopping spree is a "stunt designed to promote herself."

Why did these reporters focus on one of Paris Hilton's shopping trips without mentioning her monster feet, beak nose, diseases, sex tape, attempt at a singing career, faux baby voice, boyfriend choices, flat ass, hipless boy body and wonk eye? Sounds like they need to be schooled on being objective journalists. FAIL!

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Editor's Note: Here's my top 10 craziest Google searches (in Italics) that led people to this site, non-italicized words = my commentary.

1. are gay boyfriends worth it - If they're hawt, rich and help you pick out clothes, YES!
2. horny old man with period sluts pictures - I kind of like this. Next time, instead of shouting out the traditional "Effing bitch," I'mma call a ho a PERIOD SLUT!
3. "took a dump" nervous - Awww... you've taken your first dump in your boyfriend's bathroom. Your relationship is getting serious. But, don't worry, he won't give a shit that you gave a shit in the toilet, unless it stinks really bad... I see why you're nervous. Quick! Light a match.
4. future slut- Suri Cruise!
5. jessica simpson is fat! - No she's not!
6. brown pimple puss - Doesn't sound like a pimple, just a new Paris Hilton outbreak somewhere.
7. how jessica biel got her ass - Yours will never look like Jessica Biel's, but you can try butt implants and botox injections in your ass cheeks to see what result that brings.
8. love to suck - Popsicles and lollipops.
   
9. i dont want to see hot picsof hannah montana i want preety not sexy
10. granny with make-up - Is actually working as a hooker on the side. You know the economy is really bad when grannys be turnin' tricks just to buy denture cleaner.