MTV's much hyped one-hour Britney Spears For The Record documentary begins with the pop star staring out of a window at the Mondarin hotel in Los Angeles. She's cocking her head like crazy as she explains that she's doing this documentary because there's "a lot" she wants people to know about her, and her manager made her. Cute.

Interviewer: Do you know that your life is weird?
[laughs]. It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird.

Shortly after Brit Brit's denial, there's footage of Papa Spears in the kitchen, "Makin' my baby some cheese grits... An old southern tradition she's been eatin' since she was born. Everybody else has Wheaties, but for Southern girls, the breakfast of champions is cheese grits."

Papa Spears then finishes workin' the stove and brings Britney a bowl. He waits in the doorway and asks her if they need more butter and cheese. She says no. He walks away. In this scene it's obvious that Jamie Spears loves Britney dearly and she needs him.

Britney opened up about the past few years,

"My trust has been battered. I'm very weary of a lot of things. I'm very protective of myself... Sometimes it can get pretty lonely. I lost myself. I had that type of nature within me that wanted to rebel.

I wanted to feel free and that was always the part of me that kind of got me in trouble. I had people in my life that were bad people. I let them in because I was lonely and I really paid the consequences for that, big time."

She's totally talking about Paris Hilton and her vag pictures!!!

Ms. Spears also talked about JT.

With Justin, he was a part of the magnitude of what I'd become. When he was gone, I didn't know what to do with myself. Just to keep my mind busy, just to keep going. I was devastated but I handled [the breakup] a lot better than the one with Kevin. With Kevin, I did not know what to do with myself."

Britney finally explained why she was out driving every single day instead of staying home, "Kevin started to want to do things for himself and I just never saw him anymore. I wanted to stay busy. I went here and there and people started thinking that I was doing drugs. It didn't help stayin' in L.A. havin' infant babies and 30 cars following you."

On why she shaved her head:

I was going through so much artificial stuff with the kids and Kevin and he left me, I was just devastated. People shave their heads all the time. But it was just me feeling a form of rebellion and shedding stuff that had happened.

After Brit talked about shaving her head, her choreographer talked about how he thinks it's "a tragedy" that she can't go outside without the paps.

Britney also said,

Most celebrities have about 3 or 4 people on them. I've seen Jessica Alba at the supermarket. I can't go anywhere with my kids.

The rest of the documentary continues with an emphasis on the paparazzi, how they chase her, make her repeatedly say, "I'm scared" before she has to jump back in the van she just left. She also can be seen eating  dinner at a restaurant with the people she works with when she explains that she has to be in L.A. because "my baby daddy lives there." Why didn't she call K-Fed daddy dude?

Closer to the end of the documentary, Britney talks about how her life is boring. She says, "I'm sad" and starts crying. Yet she doesn't want people to feel sorry for her, which is what many who watched the documentary are feeling.

There's a reason why the interview is getting heavy toward the end. Britney's camp wants everyone to know that she's fine, but her life is hard. I think they accomplish their goals, but the film also shows how alienated Britney is, which is, you guessed it - gonna make us feel sorry for her.

Britney Spears' entire life is pretty much her work. She needs more personal connections other than her two female "soul sisters" who sometimes fly in from Louisiana.

Madonna is also featured on the documentary while looking the worst many have ever seen her look.

The Britney Spears phenomenon is strange to say the least. While some claim that those in charge of her should keep her outta the spotlight if they don't want her to get the attention from the paps, I don't share their views. Britney loves her job, she just doesn't love the accompanying craziness; I also feel like it is too late for her to jump ship now.

She will always be Britney Spears no matter what. She will never have privacy. She's a global icon. Shit, Michael Jackson doesn't make music anymore, but he is still hounded. Britney Spears is no different. She's in too deep. And she doesn't need sympathy.

She needs laws so that the paparazzi can stop yelling questions and insults at her in addition to giving her some space to walk.

Anyway, Jamie Spears is working wonders in her life.

Notice that Britney's mom wasn't mentioned a single time during the documentary? There's a reason for that. She sucks at life.

And last, MTV is the perfect choice for Brit's documentary. I didn't really think about it much at first, but they'll reach a wider audience by playing this shiz over and over, something that would never been done on network television. Well done, overall.

It's time for Britney to get a break. She shouldn't have to explain herself anymore. It's her life, y'all. She also really loves her kids. At least the "bad mother" comments have been put to rest.

She does say that she thinks people want her to do well and the very last thing Britney says is,

I go through life like karate kid.

Such a jokester.