"I want 10 children. I love kids."
So said the man who will be pushing 0 of those 10 kids through his vag lips. I'm sure Stepford Katie will be forced to have at least two more, but I'm not sure Tom will meet his quota. Remember he has two other adopted children with Nicole Kidman whom he never talks about because they aren't as "beautiful" as Suri is.
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These new Katy Perry bikini pics show the young singer flaunting what her mother gave her. Impressive? If Katy Perry wasn't in a green bikini, I'd be stunned. She loves her some color. Hope she got a little tan during her Mexico vacay with her bf (in the black t-shirt).
I like a man who isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in. Patsy was at a No on H8 show. Score. And he defended Heath Ledger. Score again. This is like reason #547 why me and Patsy were made for each other.
According to a witness at the No on H8 show at The ÂImprov in Hollywood on Dec. 16, Twilight star Robert Pattinson, 22, booed a comic who said, "Here's my impression of Heath Ledger," then collapsed and began faking convulsions.
"Robert and his friend went nuts yelling at him," the source tells Us Weekly. "[Pattinson screamed] f--k you! You suck!"
But the actor -- who recently cut his famous hair -- went unrecognized by the performing comic. "The comic didn't know who it was, but I'm sure he found out later!"
Britney Spears spent Christmas in India with her new boyfriend Sandip Soparrkar, a Bollywood choreographer who worked on her "Womanizer" video. Britney met Sandip at a party thrown by Madonna earlier this year, and she flew to India for a three-day vacation with her new man candy. Sandip may also fly to L.A. to ring in the New Year with Brit Brit.
Britney and Sandip have been dating for three weeks. He's a choreographer and a pin-up in India, and look at those big ears! You know what they say about big ears, dontcha? Nothing! But I do think this dude is pretty handsome. Anywho, Sandip is employed and makes more money than Daddy Dude and Adnan put together. Upgrade!
"Britney and Sandip tried to keep their reunion in India hush-hush as they're determined to have a relationship just like any other couple. Sandip is very down to earth and keeps Britney grounded. For Christmas, Sandip â" or Sandy as Britney calls him â" presented her with a traditional Indian sari. She wore it during a candlelit dinner.
"The pair were whispering and giggling all night. Sandy ordered local delicacies including chicken tikka and a cottage cheese curry. Britney was nicking the dough balls from his plate. It was really cute."
How long before Papa Spears grounds her and puts out a restraining order on Sandip? She was nicking at his dough balls for Christ's sake! That sounds like code for giving head to me, and I'm sure Papa Spears is looking into this.
He huffs, and puffs â" and blows out the candles! John Legend celebrates his 30th birthday Sunday night with a party at New York City's Lucky Strike bowling alley, where the singer was presented with a piano-shaped cake.
After getting my ass handed to me like a little bitch, I would collapse, too!
After last Sunday's biggest loss in Dallas Cowboy franchise history, ESPN reports that Tony Romo collapsed in the shower. ESPN.com says that medical staff brought in a stretcher, but Tony walked out on his own. Being a good sport, he also answered questions in a post-game news conference shortly after, but he had to be helped to the podium.
Updated word on the ESPN.com street is that Tony may have suffered a rib injury in the second half of the game. Tony has refused to answer questions about his health.
I'm lost. Rib injury = collapsing butt nekkid in a locker room in front of all your boys? I mean, my lower back hurts right now and I dunno if that's gonna effect, like, my ability to do the deuce on the toilet and talk on the phone at the same time. I guess you can never be too cautious. Shit.
Get better, Tony!!
I dunno about you, but when I picture two lesbians in the heat of an argument, I'd like to think that the disagreement pops off with a nude pillow fight on top of thick white, soft sheets on a king size bed. Hair pulling, boob slapping and nipple pinching would promptly ensue, but the brawl would end in a tie. Then round 2 begins in the kitchen where both hos, armed with dildo and vibrator in hand, viciously attack each other in a sex toy sword fighting session atop the dining room table. Still nude, of course. Then, if both attempts at deciding a clear winner fail, the two hot, naked, sweaty lesbian chicks return to their bedroom where they take turns pleasuring each other. A winner is chosen based on endurance, the first one who comes loses.
However, sadly this is not how things went down last week at Samantha Ronson's house.
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson's fight sends Samantha to the hospital!!!! The two were in a nuclear screaming match at their Hollywood Hills home.
Neighbors tell us they were going at it for a long time, but it reached a crescendo at around 4:00 AM after one of them screamed at the other, "You never say you love me." The screaming continued and neighbors heard a glass break. Sam then screamed, "If you're gonna break things get out of my house." One neighbor described the conversation as "wailing, with lots of obscenities."
A short time later Sam went to the hospital -- her rep says for exhaustion.
You know it's totally time for Michael Lohan to take to his new blog and blast Lindsay for being abusive, but he would never do that. In Michael's eyes, Samantha Ronson is the problem. Everyone except for himself is the reason why Lindsay doesn't like him. Yes, this story came out on like Christmas Eve, all, but I thought it was just too juicy. Since last week, Lindsay and Sam have been photographed during their daily outtings. Their relationship is in turmoil but they're both trying to hold on for as long as possible. This split will be so ugly.
Zooey Deschanel is ready to walk down the aisle.
The actress and singer, 28, and Death Cab for Cutie singer Ben Gibbard, 32, who is also in the indie band the Postal Service, got engaged before the holidays.
Deschanel, currently starring in Yes Man opposite Jim Carrey, also released her first album, Volume One, in March with her band She & Him.
I like Zooey, but her knockoff Katy Perry look kills me. I saw Zooey on Paste magazine yesterday and I didn't wanna pick it up because I thought she was Katy. Their resemblance is way too strong. I haven't seen such freaky lookalike shit like this in Hollyweird since I pointed out that Gayken was looking like LiLo or Owen Wilson resembles Ellen.
Whew! I was getting skurred, because this is not the way things should go down with Thomas and Gisele. First, Tom must knock up Gisele in what seems to be a common practice modern day matrimony pre-requisite - just like he did when he dumped his pregnant ex-fiance, Bridget Moynahan. Next, Gisele will birth four kids instead of one. I'm sure three of them would be gorgeous and one of them would be fug. I would then go on to tease the fug one relentlessly just like I did with Suri Cruise, because it's all for good luck. Look at how adorable Suri is now? Insults can prompt positive changes. I know this because Suri will be thanking me later, and so will Tom and Gisele (after they split), and Bridget will live happily ever after.
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