The Downside of Reconnecting With Former Friends
Everyone is married. And by everyone, I mean your former friend, her neighbor, her little sister, her cat, her gay boss, her mother's ex-boyfriend, her mother's ex-boyfriend's son, and the kid with one arm and no eyes from down the street you grew up on.
So I contacted one of my former friends on a social networking site. Real specific, I know. Anyway, I wanted to contact her forever. You see, we were BFFs since we were four years old!!! She went to a different high school, then college came around and we stopped talking a few years after we started attending different schools.
I always knew that I wanted to contact her online. She was simply a click away but, fearful of possible rejection, I resisted. Online disses can be hurtful. Deleting a motherfucker is a virtual dick slap in the face. It's equivalent to a text message break-up by your lover while you're climaxing. It's unforgivable! It's evil! It means war! It actually sucks and I wanted nothing of it, so I didn't say shiz to her for years and it's not like people could find me on this site either, because I don't even have my first name on there.
But I've been making positive changes in '09. I've gone from not only thinking about the things that I aspire to do, but actually saying that I'm thinking about them too. So I sent her a message. She responded by sending a very lovely message back, but she also told me that she's married. Years after we lost contact she wrote to my parents and told them that she was engaged. I wonder if it's to the same dude? Anyway, not only is she married but her sister who is three years younger is also married. I feel old. Unwanted. Haggard. Do my uterus and ovaries still work? I really wanna be a mother one day. My time is running out. Kidding. There's plenty of hot bums on the street that I can choose from, I'm okay.
So she then asks for updates on my life. I still have yet to respond. I'm young. I have no need to be apologetic about my single status, but society teaches us that our ultimate goal in life should be to get married and procreate. Sigh. So I'll mention to her that I was engaged before. Sigh. Does that make me sound like more or less of a loser? I mean, I don't wanna sound like Jennifer Aniston. So... I'll just tell her that I'm a lesbian and the reason why I'm not married is because Prop 8 passed. Problem solved.
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January 29th, 2009 12:00 AM
Gyllenhal...Last time I checked, I had jewels between my legs. Haha! :)
January 28th, 2009 8:35 PM
Haha! This shiz had me rolllin in my chair! To think if I hadn't clicked on your "Recent Comment" section I would have missed out!
I was the girl in high school who had gorgeous girlfriends that were never single longer than a day. Granted my dad was fing crazy and threatened any guy that came around. lol. but i got married at 22,and it was the best thing i ever did,FOR ME. but my friends are all single now and I am married. I dont judge them. i say f@ck it! do whats best for you no matter what and stay proud of who you are!
you are gonna be a kick ass mom one day, if you so choose. your kids will know just what to expect out of life- its not always roses and butterflies.
Anyone who makes judgments based on the 10 posts they read on here a day is just naive about the brilliance of bloggers;)
I will now return to the 5 million other things I have to get done tonight, but I wanted in on this enlightening comment thread.
January 28th, 2009 7:44 PM
LMFAO!! If only you knew how many gossip bloggers are stay at home mothers, and wonderful mothers at that. But I'm so vicious, I will be the worst mother ever. Thanks for the warning.
January 28th, 2009 6:09 PM
Why would anyone want to marry you? You're a vicious woman who spews vile gossip on the internet. Ugh. I can't imagine what kind of parent you'd be, judging by the way you talk about people on this site.
January 28th, 2009 5:41 PM
Howdy FC,
First off, I am a total moron as I missed the sarcasm in the post too. Jester and I can sit in the corner together and think about what we have done...
I see the truth in your jest FC and joking aside, I have felt the same way. It's weird as I find myself jealous of certain peers and things that would traditionally be seen as a 'sucess'. I want children about as much as I want a hernia, yet when I see my old school friends and they have about 5 kids in tow... I feel a pang of jealousy. It's the most twisted thing. Same goes with careers. I see people younger steaming ahead and though I am proud of where I have dragged myself to on the career ladder, I am kind of angry that I don't have 'more' going for me. You know, the kind of accomplishments that your mother can tell her mummy friends.. like 'Oh, Amy won a Nobel prize/ cured cancer/ murdered Parasite Hilton etc. etc'.
Guess I need to stop being a bitter old spinster and brush it off. Trouble is I kind of like bein
January 28th, 2009 12:16 PM
Well, I need to get married, have three kids and then divorce.
How else am I gonna pay my bills without child and spousal support payments?! K-Well Fed is my hero and I hope to follow in his footsteps.
January 28th, 2009 10:35 AM
You are all are a bunch of crazy woman!! Well, I am not sure if Craig is but at this point in time it doesn't take much to cross over and become the other sex. Marriage is over rated and something you desire if you are 70! We are all young, the only marriage I want is the commitment that I will have a strange entering my buttocks every weekend for the next ten years! Other than that, I have nothing else to add!! I leave you with these words...Strange sex is better than any marriage!!
January 27th, 2009 10:25 PM
Why are you being so insecure? = not exactly a compliment/ being nice.
I love you, Jester! And you will keep commenting, or else. Lol.
January 27th, 2009 10:03 PM
Um... sorry?
I thought I was being nice... Jester is officially retiring from the POTP comment section starting... now.
January 27th, 2009 9:54 PM
Believe me, FC, of course I know you and your writing very, very well. Tell you more why I replied the way I did later.
And I will reply to your above comments directed to me outside of POTP or the net because it's more personal and I don't want your readers to be in on my shiz. Ya know what I mean?
:)
PS: Please continue with your personal stories!