Everyone is married. And by everyone, I mean your former friend, her neighbor, her little sister, her cat, her gay boss, her mother's ex-boyfriend, her mother's ex-boyfriend's son, and the kid with one arm and no eyes from down the street you grew up on.
So I contacted one of my former friends on a social networking site. Real specific, I know. Anyway, I wanted to contact her forever. You see, we were BFFs since we were four years old!!! She went to a different high school, then college came around and we stopped talking a few years after we started attending different schools.
I always knew that I wanted to contact her online. She was simply a click away but, fearful of possible rejection, I resisted. Online disses can be hurtful. Deleting a motherfucker is a virtual dick slap in the face. It's equivalent to a text message break-up by your lover while you're climaxing. It's unforgivable! It's evil! It means war! It actually sucks and I wanted nothing of it, so I didn't say shiz to her for years and it's not like people could find me on this site either, because I don't even have my first name on there.
But I've been making positive changes in '09. I've gone from not only thinking about the things that I aspire to do, but actually saying that I'm thinking about them too. So I sent her a message. She responded by sending a very lovely message back, but she also told me that she's married. Years after we lost contact she wrote to my parents and told them that she was engaged. I wonder if it's to the same dude? Anyway, not only is she married but her sister who is three years younger is also married. I feel old. Unwanted. Haggard. Do my uterus and ovaries still work? I really wanna be a mother one day. My time is running out. Kidding. There's plenty of hot bums on the street that I can choose from, I'm okay.
So she then asks for updates on my life. I still have yet to respond. I'm young. I have no need to be apologetic about my single status, but society teaches us that our ultimate goal in life should be to get married and procreate. Sigh. So I'll mention to her that I was engaged before. Sigh. Does that make me sound like more or less of a loser? I mean, I don't wanna sound like Jennifer Aniston. So... I'll just tell her that I'm a lesbian and the reason why I'm not married is because Prop 8 passed. Problem solved.
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January 27th, 2009 5:14 PM
Bitch please! I didn't get married until I was 31! I don't think you should be allowed to before your 30s! Get everything out of your system first. Yup.
January 27th, 2009 7:31 PM
Why are you being so insecure? From my perspective you have a lot going for you, and still a lot to accomplish. Married people with good marriages have goals but ones that are not conflicted by the goals of their families. You don't need that shit. You need to be free as a bird to do what you want. Plus marriage is totally antiquated and only works when you are older. PLUS women don't hit their sexual prime in their mid-30s! If you are gonna get married and be married for the rest of your life, why would you wanna get married at an age that it's IMPOSSIBLE to know what you want.
You need a glass of wine and a few episodes of Sex and the City to make you feel better.
And you should also be honest with this friend. You never know, you two could really re-connect in friendship and you don't want to start that out with a lie. Plus, if shes a good person and a good friend she won't judge you for having a different lifestyle than she.
Was that comment long enough? Haha.
January 27th, 2009 8:32 PM
Awww, FC, don't allow long-time friends, with their current lifestyles establish a barometer of where you should be in life today!
Overthinking and being overly-concerned about anyone like-minded in age, etc. and whether they're married or not will cause you to go mental after a while. Just be yourself!
As a friend, I know for a fact you've accomplished so much during your lifetime, and that in of itself should be giving you great, positive energy. Condition yourself to think in that type of mindset.
And, as you know, I am single too, but I've been making a conscious not to allow myself to be consumed in peep's relationship stauses. Granted, it's convenient to get caught-up in all of that on social networking sites, etc., but follow my lead though. In that regard, you'll be better off ultimately.
A great deal of your life is yet to be accomplished, too, and you will have a sufficient amount of time to approach anything related to marriage (albeit that it's currently a dying institution). Be more patient, my friend.
That's my piece.
:)
January 27th, 2009 8:59 PM
Spicy,
You know it! Luv ya girl.
Your hubby is cute, he was worth the wait but not everyone is lucky enough to get married no matter what age. Waiting till you're in your mid-30s like Jester suggests is more ideal than realistic. Doesn't always work that way.
January 27th, 2009 9:06 PM
Jester,
I must really love lil ole outspoken u. We clash, but it makes for good content. I can forgive you, but it's pretty obvious that I was JOKING.
Maybe you're just getting familiar with my sense of humor, so I can understand.
I'm not insecure, although I have my moments as does everyone. My post is about marriage, but the same temporary feelings of inadequacy can be evoked by anything from not having kids to not having a job to not having a car, money or even an iPhone.
I was saying that when it feels like everyone around you has something that you do not, it's very obvious to you and it can feel strange.
I would never lie to my former BFF! We have a lot of history together, and I knew her sister since she was literally a child.
Hells ya it feels strange that she is also hitched.
January 27th, 2009 9:10 PM
Thank you Spicy for being familiar with my writing and knowing that this wasn't a pity party post. Good lord.
Craig of all people you should know that I'm too whorish to be a Mrs. at this point and you should actually date, but that's your choice.
Jester is forgiven because he's a newbie, but you two don't make me feel like I should share shiz cause you clearly missed the humor and sarcasm in my post that I had so much fun writing. At least I made myself lol at some points. Now excuse me while I go pull this baseball bat out my ass.
January 27th, 2009 9:54 PM
Believe me, FC, of course I know you and your writing very, very well. Tell you more why I replied the way I did later.
And I will reply to your above comments directed to me outside of POTP or the net because it's more personal and I don't want your readers to be in on my shiz. Ya know what I mean?
:)
PS: Please continue with your personal stories!
January 27th, 2009 10:03 PM
Um... sorry?
I thought I was being nice... Jester is officially retiring from the POTP comment section starting... now.
January 27th, 2009 10:25 PM
Why are you being so insecure? = not exactly a compliment/ being nice.
I love you, Jester! And you will keep commenting, or else. Lol.
January 28th, 2009 10:35 AM
You are all are a bunch of crazy woman!! Well, I am not sure if Craig is but at this point in time it doesn't take much to cross over and become the other sex. Marriage is over rated and something you desire if you are 70! We are all young, the only marriage I want is the commitment that I will have a strange entering my buttocks every weekend for the next ten years! Other than that, I have nothing else to add!! I leave you with these words...Strange sex is better than any marriage!!