Jessica Simpson Fatgate Conspiracy Theory
Before we pity the star for packing on unwanted pounds, let's remember how well weight gain-and-loss stories sell magazines.
"She's loving it," said a source close to Simpson, who suspects her weight gain is strategic. "It will probably get her back on covers right when she is a 'supporting' act on tour. I bet Joe (Simpson) has already sold the weight-loss story."
Do you believe it? Papa Joe is on crack, so I do. Jessica was wearing high waisted jeans, which does nothing for someone who has weight on. She had to know that she looked like shit, right? I mean no one wears an outfit like that unless it's a joke. I'm saying this as a woman who went to the grocery store this morning braless and gross, like no self-respecting woman should ever do. But I knew it, so I gave no eye contact and used the self-checkout line. I wasn't posing for the paps. Jess, on the other hand, has a glam squad. She either hates her life or the people around her hate her.
I wouldn't go so far as saying that she loves being called a fat ass, but the fact of the matter is that she will lose the weight. Jessica has yoyo'd before, this is really nothing new. Expect her face, "Diet Secrets" and "New Body" to hit magazine covers in the next few months.
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Twitter
January 29th, 2009 10:21 PM
I'm so glad you called her out for those high waisted jeans. What happened to her stylist? Apparently she didn't read the issue of Oprah's magazine about dressing for your body type and she doesn't watch "What Not to Wear." Can someone give her Stacy & Clinton's number, stat?
January 29th, 2009 5:23 PM
Tony Romo has been missing for almost a week. My theory is that Jess ate him.
January 29th, 2009 2:57 PM
This rumor surprised me cause Jess seems too sensitive to want folks to say she's big, but I think it's safe to say she'll be getting her magazine covers in a few months after she slims down. Therefore, this was a pretty easy story for the writers to come up with.
she probably thought she would look a little white trash and fit in with the demographic attending her show. LMAO.
January 29th, 2009 2:52 PM
I think saying she did this on purpose is a strech and no I don't mean strech pants! She was at a fair so she probably thought she would look a little white trash and fit in with the demographic attending her show. She didn't want to come out wearing prada, christian L shoes and gawdy jewelry! I think she did a great job and this fat story is just another perk!!