January 2009 News Archive (Page 9)

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. putting a spear in someones ass - Sounds like a lot of work, but just a natural progression from putting a spear into wild animals during hunts.
2. girls waxing their face - Ouch!
3. she is not wearing a bra - How would you know that if you weren't staring at her chichis?
4. booty rack
5. "without any panties" - I feel feminine.
6. what does the saying "he has his irish up" mean? - It means Ted Kennedy's jovial mood returned after he was taken to the hospital.
7. arm pit pictures - They totally get me off too.
8. bioncyee - song at last - WOW! Is that really how you think Beyonce's name is spelt?! What kind of huge ass rock have you been hiding under for the past 10 years?
9. looking for fat single ladies
10. wtf was up with the hat aretha franklin was wearing - It was fierce and I wanna wear it sometime while I'm giving a blowjob.

I disagree fervently with the people on our side of the aisle who have caved and who say, 'Well, I hope he succeeds. We've got to give him a chance.' Why? ... I'll send you a response, but I don't need 400 words, I need four: I hope he fails.'

I'm actually glad that Rush said this. He's just inspiring Barack to do a great job! Nothing is more motivating than proving your haters wrong. Gobama!

sfgate

Denzel Washington was so serious about attending Barack Obama's inauguration that he arrived three hours early! He was also reportedly the perfect gentlemen to attendees nearby, making small talk and posing for pics.

Too cute.

source

Megan Fox looked naturally stunning at a Vancouver airport.

Rihanna at last year's Teen Choice Awards

Verne Troyer's answers both made me feel badly about calling him a midget, but not badly enough to stop me from calling him a midet now and in the future; and then he grosses me out by saying he can please women. No thanks, bro! Anyway, here goes it:

HOW HE DEALS WITH BEING A LITTLE GUY:

I don't have a problem with being called a dwarf or a little person, because that is what I am. But I will never get used to anybody calling me a midget. To me it's as bad and offensive as calling a black person a n****r. Sadly I have to deal with small-minded people calling me midget almost every day of my lifeâ€"and it never gets easier.

ON HIS BIGGEST PET PEEVE:

The thing I hate more than anything, though, is when people pick me up and handle me like I am a child. I am a grown man for God's sake, and men and women alike think it is just the cutest thing to tote me around, almost like they are carrying their pet dog under their arm. You would think that people would think before they start handling adults but they don't.

ON HOW HE REMAINS POSITIVE:

I'm not ashamed to say I have been so down at times I have cried and felt sorry for myself. But I have to grin and bear it because I won't be getting any taller any time soon. I remember all the good things in my life and, apart from acting, that is beautiful women and lots of them.

ON HIS LOVE FOR THE PLAYBOY MANSION:

I LOVE the mansion and have had some of the best nights of my life behind its walls. Every man dreams of getting an invite just so he can go to the grotto. I've been so many times and it never loses its appealâ€"but why would it? It's full of gorgeous naked women!

TMI ABOUT HIS FULFILLED FANTASY AT THE MANSION:

I had the best night of my life and lived out most men's fantasies. I didn't just pleasure one Playboy Bunny, I pleasured three. And it doesn't get much better than that. I watched while they touched each other, then me and my friend joined in.

WHY HE IS A PROFESSIONAL WHEN IT COMES TO SEXY TIME:

There is nothing worse for a girl than being with a boy who doesn't know what he is doing in the bedroom. But I know exactly how to make a woman feel like a woman. I know the spot, and I've got plenty of inches where it matters. I know what women want and it's me.

Verne is currently locked up in the "celebrity" Big Brother house in the UK and is favored to win.

source: cv

Michelle Obama had a fashion miss and a fashion semi-hit at Barack Obama's inauguration events. First up is Michelle Obama's lime green colored, thick dress and senior citizen coat at the inauguration swearing-in ceremony.

The color is absolutely beautiful on Michelle and her gloves matched perfectly, but the dress does nothing for her figure and the broach puts the final touch on her grandmama, matron-like wardrobe. Not a good look. Jill Biden on the other hand was fierce!

Next, Michelle wore ruffled toilet paper and cotton balls in her one-strap white dress for the inaugural ball. I feel like she's too petite from the waist up to really pull off an over the shoulder, thick strapped dress. The cotton balls did nothing for me, and my friend said she looks like a cake. I agree! Except I don't wanna eat her.

Anyway, two snaps to Michelle Obama for putting 26-year-old inaugural ball dress designer Jason Wu on the map!!! And two more snaps for dressing her daughters in J. Crew coats.

I'm pretty excited to observe Michelle's first lady fashions. She's gonna change things up much more than Hillary "pant suit" Clinton ever would. Jill Biden's gonna be gorgeous too. It's gonna be fun, all!

Okay, I think I'm done with the Obama posts for the day. I hope.

Barack Obama and Michelle Obama have so much obvious sexual chemistry it kills me! They are so adorable together. Barack just adores her. I'll make sure to bookmark this entry in my archives so it can be ready to go when the Barack cheating scandal breaks.

Beyonce looked elegant for the occasion, luvs that she got choked up at the end. She did a good job.

On Tuesday, bloggers criticized Franklin -- who turned in a rousing performance of "Let Freedom Ring" at the inauguration ceremony -- for wearing the hat, which featured an enormous rhinestone-studded bow.

"What was up with Aretha Franklin's hat at the inauguration? While it's quite Aretha-like, between the shape and the bow and the glitter she reminded me of the ball atop Times Square on New Year's Eve. Tone it down, honey, this is not your day," wrote blogger Kristi Gustafson on Timesunion.com.

Kristi, effing bitch, wearing big hats is a tradition of black culture. It's how we dress up for fancy events, there is no other event comparable to the inauguration of the first black president of the United States. Dumb ho, Aretha was simply what wearing what us African Americans would call her "Sunday best." Second, it was cold, another reason why she was probably wearing a hat - she did not want to freeze in the double digit wind chill weather.

Some bloggers really make me feel uneasy. I don't ever wanna just diss anything because it's my job. What should be focused on was Aretha's performance. No one can sing like the Queen of Soul. No one. Her rendition was soulful and moving and her hat is gorgeous. All hail. I'd like to hear this Kristi Gustafon whore attempt to hit one of Aretha's notes or sing with any soul whatsoever.

Whew! I'm done now. And I'm a little late with putting up posts today. Jester doesn't feel like updating today and I was up late last night watching Obama shiz with friends.

Aretha tells someone to shut up around the :09 mark. Haha! Enjoy.

Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Massachusetts, is scheduled to be released from the hospital Wednesday after suffering a seizure the day before.

Kennedy collapsed Tuesday during a luncheon for President Obama in the U.S. Capitol's Statuary Hall.

Dr. Edward Aulisi, chairman of the neurosurgery department at Washington Hospital Center, said Kennedy's doctors "believe the incident was brought on by simple fatigue."

"Sen. Kennedy is awake, talking with family and friends, and feeling well," the doctor said Tuesday. Paramedics were called to the Capitol at 2:35 p.m. ET. An ambulance took Kennedy to Washington Hospital Center.

"Sen. Kennedy had a seizure" which "lasted a while," a Republican House member told CNN. The member said Kennedy was still experiencing seizures when he was put in a wheelchair and taken out of the room where the luncheon was held.

Sen. John Kerry, the junior senator from Massachusetts, accompanied Kennedy to the hospital. He told reporters Tuesday that Kennedy was alert and in good spirits.

"He has his Irish up," Kerry said. "Ted Kennedy is going to be back in the Senate fighting for the things he cares about." Kerry quoted Kennedy's wife, Vicki, as saying, "It just goes with the territory. It is part of the battle he is fighting," Kerry said.