February 2009 News Archive (Page 12)

As if the awful made for TV movie starring Willa Ford wasn't enough, they are now turning Anna Nicole Smith's life in to a Opera. British Compsoer Mark-Anthony Turnage at London's Covent Garden hopes to have it  finished in 2011.

"It is not going to be a horrible, sleazy evening," director Elaine Padmore, tells The Guardian. "It is going to be witty, clever, thoughtful and sad."

"It is not just a documentary about her, but a parable about celebrity and what it does to people."

Is this necesary? Why can't people come up with some original ideas instead of making operas and musicsals about actual people and movies? Its sad. Creativity is dead.

Reese Witherspoon is an embarrassment - CNW
New shaver will "revolutionize" the way you shave your facial pubes - OMG
Mario Lopez's clap confirms he's gay - WIMB
Chris Brown disses Rihanna on Facebook, changes his main picture to one with him and some ho all up on him. Classy. - CS
Jessica Simpson doesn't want me to like her if she's actually gonna do this. Bitch couldn't even dress herself - CK.
Mischa Barton's scary new eating disorder picture - AB
Get behind the scenes with Coldplay - RR
Paris Hilton says she understands the Twilight hype, wants to eff Robert Pattinson - GB
Elaine from Seinfeld to go nude? - SP
Zac Efron lost a lot of his buffness - B!
Sarah Jessica Parker needs to cut her son's hair - SN
Tori Spelling wishes we cared about her weight. - AB
Destiny's Child's red carpet reunion - IBBB

While I was bored and rained-in due to the weather - yes, those are the only reasons why I decided to do this - I proceeded to cyber stalk my most recent "love of my life."

Now the whole "love of my life" phrase is one that I only began using last month. I enjoy it much, actually, because I think the denotations are accurate: This love was gravitational; it's like there was a magnet inside my vadge and one in his peanus. It was like some straight biological shit. Nature. And we were supposed to be together. Being in his presence felt like an orgasm of sexual chemistry, compatibility, fate and destiny exploded deep within my yearning heart. Move over Shakespeare!

I proceeded to stalk my ex online, but I ran into a few major problems. His name is EXTREMELY common. Ugh.

1) Hundreds of "him" appear in any inquiry.

2) The dudes who really look like him only really look like him cause the pics are way too small for me to know whether they're him or not.

3) If I do find him, that would ignite an entirely different dilemma. What am I supposed to do? Would I be tempted to send him a friend request or message when things ended horribly?

I need to know what he's up to. I need to know that he's married and has a baby girl who looks like a tranny and that his wife gained 400 pounds during her pregnancy and they no longer have sex and he's miserable. These are the things that I'd love to know, Facebook. If only his name weren't so freakin' common, and if only Facebook's privacy settings weren't so strict.

Miley Cyrus made some chinky eyes
Standing behind an Asian guy
I don't know if this should fly
As if there wasn't enough to despise

I wasn't necessarily a fan of
Her, her dad, or Hannah Montana
I tend to prefer the songs of Rihanna
Racism against Asians is simply bananas!

In related news, Miley Cyrus is being sued for $4 billion, $4,000 for every Asian in LA County. Good luck, y'all!

source: Margaret Cho's blog via Radar

I would love to cover each story individually, but there just aren't enough hours in the day. So here goes it. As I suspected, Chris Brown had been hitting Rihanna for a while. His Sunday morning attack was not the first incident of abuse, Rihanna simply gave him ammo because she didn't like reading his jump off text message from some ho, threw his Lamborghini keys out the window, which sent him into a rage to say the least.

Rihanna fans will be shredding Chris Brown cds and posters at 10:30 am this Friday.

Just hours before Rihanna's attack, head of Def Jam L.A. Reid bragged about how many awards RiRi had picked up and how much money she was making him.

Chris Brown allegedly flew to the East Coast.

UPDATE: E! reports that Chris Brown is allegedly partying in Vegas right now

TMZ confirms that a text message ignited the beatdown.

CNN reports that Rihanna's busted up face photos are being closely guarded so that they won't be leaked to the media.

IRONICALLY Mario and RiRi have a new single out right now and you can listen to it. Guess what it's called? "Emergency Room."

The song "Crack a Bottle" by rappers Dr. Dre, 50 Cent, and the lately low-profile Eminem will debut at the number 1 spot today when "Billboard" publishes its weekly top singles chart.

The song jumps from # 78 to # 1, propelled by a record first-week tally of 418,000 paid downloads. The trio's previous team-up, "Encore," only got as high as 25 back in January, 2005.

"Crack" is now the number 3 best-selling download of all-time.

LYRICS

Here are two new stories on the unfit Octopussy batshit mother Nadya Suleman. Do I sound objective?

Bitch was sending Angelina Jolie letters! That alone is the reason why all of her children should be taken away. AngieJo is one of the most inaccessible actresses in Hollyweird. She won't even talk to Ryan Seacrest, and Nadya thought she stood a chance?

She is extremely mentally unstable and it's sad to witness her psychosis unfold right in front of our eyes. I don't believe she won't have any more kids, in fact, I expect to hear that she's preggers within the next year or two.

A source close to Jolie tells me it's not just reading about Suleman in the press that fuels the Oscar winner's irritation.

Apparently, over the past year or so, Suleman has made attempts to reach out the the actress �" sending her admiring letters and extolling her talent and humanitarian efforts on behalf of children's issues around the world.

"It is clear this woman needs psychological help. It's one thing to clip out a celebrity's photo from a magazine and ask your [hair] stylist to copy that cut. Who hasn't done that? But to have a nose job, have collagen injections in your lips and start talking like Angelina �" that's over the top."

DID the NBC network pay Octomom Nadya Suleman close to $1 million for coverage of the maniacal mother and her eight preemie babies? NBC vehemently denies it. But an insider told us,

"Everything was filmed. The birth, everything. Then [Suleman's people] said negotiations would start at $1.2 million for the video and pictures, which is when producers from Oprah Winfrey, ABC and CBS left the room. NBC stayed." Our source suspects that NBC made a "donation" through an intermediary.

NBC is known for getting desperate. They totally paid the broad. That's only the beginning. This whore will cash in, people will donate money to her, and she'll milk her freakish birth for all its worth.

More on Nadya's death threats.

Chicago Sun Times, Page Six

Here's' Jennifer Hudson's first video since her October '08 family tragedy. The video was shot on Jan. 26. and JHud looks gorgeous. Since She took home the Grammy for best R&B album, she's made me curious about her debut disc.

I know this story broke days ago, but I just watched this Salma Hayek breastfeeding an African baby video and I am so moved by Salma Hayek's humbling generosity. She is beautiful both inside and out. LUV her!!!!

Jessica Simpson is not fat! She is fucking hawt! Why am I pulling a Kanye! The excessive use of exclamation points is ineffective! Alright, I'll stop.

One of my favorite Simpson sisters read the 44th annual Country Music Award nominations the other day and she looked beautiful. Just look at her tits! And she covers up her arms! Oh shit, the exclamation points are back! This bitch ain't no fat ass Kelly Clarkson. Two Kelly disses in one day, I feel good about myself.