February 2009 News Archive (Page 3)

Neither Holly nor Criss said that they'll remain friends, so I took it upon my self to issue that contrived, mandatory PR-friendly statement.

I didn't see this relationship going anywhere. Criss is some 41-year-old, can you believe he's 41, player, magician douche and Holly is looking for a longtime commitment, marriage, a white picket fence and three future porn star kids in the next few years. He's not the right man for the job and I'm sorry that she was completely unaware of that. They've only be dating since October!

Girls Next Door star Holly Madison and magician Criss Angel have called it quits.

"She's still heartbroken and regretful about how things went down with Hef. Then she ran into the arms of Criss Angel. But then it's like, 'This is not everything I thought it would be.'"

The two seemed to be in high spirits around the holidays, celebrating their joint birthdays at Las Vegas' LAX Nightclub on Dec. 19. "I made Criss a paper ring, but he won't wear it. When he starts wearing his paper ring, I will be the one to propose."

Added Angel, "You know, what Holly and I have is really something that money can't buy. She is enough for me."

They also met each other's parents around the holidays.

Holly will find someone new, fo cheesy, but she needs to find a man who won't cut her heart in half and disappear like a magician will. Pun intended. Heh. My puns suck. :)

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Jennifer Love Hewitt reveals her personal break-up therapy methods - CNW
Tranny nuns in Italy!!! - OMG
Britney Spears has tricks - WIMB
This sounds like such an effing mess! But I think I will tune in - CS
John Mayer tells all to Ryan Seacrest - CK
Matthew McConaughey should stop showing off at some point - AB
Adriana Lima is NOT pregnant - CW
Lily Allen's meat on her bones is sexy - RR
Watch footage of Audrina Patridge's house getting robbed - GB
Lady Gaga refuses to take it off - AG
THE BEST Real Housewives of OC recap - IBBB
Paula Abdul complains about having a 4th judge on American Idol! - SP
Kim Kardashian gets fancy - SN
CW stars don't renew their contracts - B!

You excitedly head out to do some shopping and you've found all the shiz that you wanted and then some. You gather the things you want while you feel a tangible wave of contentment set in. Shopping done. One less thing to worry about, crossed off the To Do list. But, before you're able to exit the retail establishment of your choice, something gets in the way - you must pay for these items. Dammit. You proceed to the cash register, which is more like a debit card register these days, but I digress.

You make friendly with the sales rep. But not too friendly. You don't want to be shamed by your friend. You keep it simple and make brief, abrupt eye contact as you stand in silence. With each bar code scan you hear the familiar beep and your heart drops just a little bit more. You're watching your "Total Due" amount increase by the item. You're kind of panicking and you're wondering if it shows. You grin nervously. Are you obvious? Do you reek of suspicion? You glance at the new customer that joins the end of your checkout line. He needs to effing go somewhere else! In fact, everyone behind you could just leave now. No one should bare witness to what may happen.

You pray that it will all be alright. Your Amount Due is now complete. You hear, "That'll be...."

No words.
No eye contact.
You swipe your debit card.
You're frozen.
You hope.
It's pending
and pending
still pending
and pending...
It's taking too long!
That's because it's declined.
It's gonna be declined!
Pending...
This effing sucks.
You wanna hide.
The little screen reads APPROVED.

By God's graces you didn't urinate all over the floor, turn red or have to protest that you know someone must have made "a mistake!" because there's a lot of money in your account.

You give a quick "thank you," grab your receipt in silence and take your bags. You know your payment is going to bounce, but at least that will be between you and your bank account, not the people waiting in line, ready to sigh and eye-roll while the cashier gives you stink eye even though you make more money than her.

It's nerve-racking and you vow to never again use your debit card when you don't know if funds are available. But you know that you're gonna.

I feel very obligated to report this story that I was avoiding. Here goes it,

Major porn distributor Vivid Entertainment has just fired off a letter to Nadya Suleman, offering her 1 million bucks to star in a skin flick of her own.

Vivid is willing to go one step further, by telling us they'll give her family full medical and dental insurance if she becomes a "contract girl"... meaning she'll have to do multiple videos.

So, should I start a porn company, guys?! All I have to do is make a bunch of ridiculous offers, get those mentioned on TMZ - and my local news station that just reported it - and get lots of free publicity for POTP.

I would love to watch a Nadya porn, but I know she could never get me off. What's taking Playboy so long?! Hugh should be all over her stretch mark ass so he can make a profit. The mag isn't doing too well, but I can guarantee lots of fetish perverts may be interested in seeing her low rent Angelina Jolie self all sprawled out like an eagle.

This woman is so stunning, what a natural model. Gorgeous.

Kim Zolciak's pimp, Lee Najjar (aka. Big Poppa), has left his wife to move in with Kim Z. at the townhouse that HE currently pays for.

Lee's wife, Kim Najjar, said that she is extremely upset over the situation, and can't believe that Lee left her for a "high class prostitute." Divorce proceedings are supposedly taking place now.

Allegedly, Kim is also being sued by her ex-publicist for non-payment of services, and the publicist has taken out a protective order against her for making vicious threats.

In other news, Nene used to strip at Atlanta's famous Magic City club and that's where she met Wiggy Kimmy. Kim reportedly used to "dress up like a nurse" and give some mean lap dances. Her stripper name was Barbie. Anyone wonder why?! Her and Barbie be wearing the same exact wigs! Same synthetic materials, just longer strands. Mattel probably has a special line of wigs made for her ass.

Btw, I'm gonna call her Wiggy Kimmy now cause I think it fits. Can't wait for season 2 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Team Nene!

All the new sex Daddy Dude has been having with his volleyball playing girlfriend has got his brain cells workin' fo sho and given him an Oprah "A-ha! moment."

Now that he actually has a bitch to impress, the kids just didn't provide enough motivation, Kevin Federline wants to start a bidness, a clothing line for his four kids, six unborn ones, and all the other children out there in the world.

Daddy Dude, who has been living off of Britney Spears' child support payments of $20k/ month claims that clothes for kids are too expensive, so he wants to keep it gangsta and make cheap shit - literally and figuratively, I assume.

Federline, said he was scoping out the styles for inspiration.

"It's a really tough business, I'm trying to take it seriously and make a quality product for kids but not have parents pay like $500 or something ridiculous for a pair of jeans. You buy your kids a pair of True Religions then they roll around in the dirt like kids do and a $200 pair of jeans is gone," he went on.

"With this economy, I'm looking to do something much more reasonable."

K-Well Fed is in talks with Gerard Guez about a licensing deal. There's no word yet on the name of his line or a release date. I say he should go with Kiddie Dudes by Daddy Dude.

Us

50 Cent weighs in on the beatdown. I don't like fiddy, but I like what he has to say. I'm posting this video and will be posting it on other Rihanna posts because he fluently speaks hoodrat, the language that Chris' horny fans speak. They need to hear this.

Chris Brown is taking anger management classes

Ne-Yo says Chris Brown is still my homeboy." Yet another rapper or singer who partnered with RiRi who sounds like he's on Chris' side.

The LAPD is "vigorously" investigating Rihanna battered photo leak

Chris Brown has tried to get Rihanna back with an iPod touch and diamond bracelet

How cute are these pics?

Dancing with the Stars professional dancer Lacey Schwimmer shows her dog how to pop and lock it like it hawt.

Well isn't this story a gossip goodie nugget! Kanye West's new, super hawt girlfriend Amber Rose's ex-girlfriend, Tiffany, is upset that she dumped her for Yeezy.

Kanye and his fresh twin debuted their fuckship at NY fashion week. The pair were seen getting touchy feely at various bars and fashion shows. Amber is a video girl who has done butt nekkid modeling and stripping. Nice! She also claims to be the one who convinced Rihanna to get a short haircut.Wow. Now reports have surfaced that she dumped her girl for the voice of our generation.

"She's going to be good for him,” an insider confides. "Amber is a model with a fly, out-there, in-your-face style and attitude, just like Kanye. She's his match."

"Traveling with Kanye can be rough — press swarms him wherever he goes; but Amber is cool and collected about it all. She doesn't care about industry stuff, and she actually understands Kanye."

Tiffany is reportedly livid, poor thing. I have no idea how I would take it if an ex dumped me for an A-lister. I'm sure it must sting! But I love Kanye and Amber together. They're gonna keep making many fashion statements. I'm interested.

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