March 2009 News Archive (Page 8)

This explains EVERYTHING! This explains why Audrina Patridge speaks so slowly, looks wasted, dates men who look like they stash cocaine in their ass cracks, has all kinds of rocker, tattooed up friends, and tends to look so emaciated that she becomes a bobble head.

Romi wanted to have Audrina as a client until she found out about Audrina's alleged habitual drug use.

Romi claimed she regularly supplied Audrina with cocaine, saying, "not only do I carry the drugs for Audrina but I also frequently sell it to her for free stash."

Romi elaborated on the beach house and the 4th of July 2008 party being filmed for the The Hills and how she was forced to go back and forth between that house and the DKNY house to ferry drugs back and forth to the reality show star.

As of December 2008, another source reports that according to Romi, she is now supplying Audrina with Hydrocodone and Oxycontin as well.

I took one look at Audrina and thought 'eating disorder!' Then I took one look at Justin Bobby and thought, 'they do drugs, before, after and during sex.'

And to think, even while Ceiling Eyes is on drugs she's still way boring? As Lily Allen said, some people really are bad at taking drugs.

Roseanne Barr is looking to return to primetime.

The star of ABC's long-running sitcom has teamed with one of the "Roseanne" producers, Caryn Mandabach, for a family comedy in which she would play the matriarch.

Jim Vallely ("Arrested Development") is attached to pen the script for the project, which has been pitched to Fox. He would executive produce with Mandabach, Maggie Rowe and Barr.

After her eponymous sitcom ended its nine-year run in 1997, Barr fronted a syndicated talk show and a reality series for ABC. Since then, she has made numerous guest appearances on a variety of primetime sitcoms, including "3rd Rock from the Sun," "The Nanny" and "My Name is Earl." Now she's returning to her scripted comedy roots.

I effing love this bitch and I can't wait. I will be tuning in.

fs

This is why she's hawt.

Soul Queen Aretha Franklin turned 67 years young and celebrated the occasion at Seldom Blues in Detroit on Friday. She had a cake shaped like her fierce inauguration hat because she can. She also wore a frock that resembles a bird because she can. Most importantly, she covered up her anchor titties and she looks excited. Congrats.

Cindy Crawford is a 43 year old mother and one of the most iconic supermodels in the world and she has a naked body that's, well, super. 

Here she is with parted lips and legs, posing in nothing but lather for Allure magazine. Cindy gives women half her age and younger all the gymspiration that they'll ever need. Such hawtness.

But the nips and the vadge remain covered. How is this a "nude" photo? I wanna see it all or nothin'!

uncensored

One of the conditions that Nadya Suleman had to abide by in order to receive free help from Angels in Waiting's trained nannies was NO REALITY SHOW.

Nadya Suleman fired her nannies yesterday and she didn't go into details because she will be filming ANOTHER DR. PHIL EPISODE about it today.

Let's try to break down some of the crazy, shall we?

OctoPsycho fired Angels in Waiting because she was allegedly still upset that her lawyer Gloria Allred called Child Protective Services on Nadya before AIW began working with her. Gloria represents AIW and claimed that if Nadya's 14 kids didn't receive proper nursing care they would become foster kids. Gloria also said that the HBIC of Angels in Waiting was going to call child-welfare services.

TMZ has the 911 call from one of the AIW nannies who wanted Gloria to leave Nadya's house!

Nadya has four of her eight babies at her home. She says she'll hire her own nannies and have Kaiser (the hospital where she gave birf) to train 'em.

OH. MY. GAWD. I want Nadya to get a reality show because I don't think she'll stop doing crazy shit until she gets one. She's probably hoping she'll become some A-lister so she can meet Angelina Jolie on the red carpet one day and ask her what shampoo she uses and who makes her panties. Or maybe those are just my questions. I digress.

I searched long and hard for a video of David Letterman's late show marriage announcement. I wanted to hear the audience reaction and watch him tell his story cause it would be more humorous than via text. No such luck. However, I do have a link to his announcement and his 'why he did it' story. Here's some of the transcript. A link to the video is below.

On last night's Late Show with David Letterman, he dropped the big news:

"On Thursday, at 3 PM, March 19, 2009 at the Teton County Courthouse in Choteau, Montana, I was married to Regina Lasko. Regina and I began dating in February of 1986, and I said, ‘Well, things are going pretty good, let's just see what happens in about ten years.'

I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I - honestly, whether this happened or not - I secretly felt that men who were married admired me…like I was the last of the real gunslingers, you know what I'm saying?

So now, we get ready to go and we've got to drive into the courthouse and it's muddy, and we're supposed to be there at 2, and it's me, Regina and Harry in the truck, in the pickup truck…So we get two miles from the house and we get stuck in the mud â€" I mean, turn the truck over, stuck in the mud.

So now we think, ‘Well, somebody will comeâ€" no, nobody comes along. Nobody comes along â€" it's Thursday afternoon, who's coming along, Zorro? No, nobody â€" so I get out of the truck and I walk two miles back to the house into a 50 mile an hour wind.

It's not Beverly Hills, it's Montana, for God's sakes. And the whole way, I'm thinking, ‘See, smart ass, see, see, you try to get married, this is what happens. See, well, you've got nobody to blame but yourself.

Could have happened any other day, but you wait now, see, this is what you get.' So then we get in the car and Harry says, ‘Are we still going into town?' and I said, ‘Yes, we are,' and he gets very upset because mom had told him if I wasn't back in an hour, the deal was off."

Congrats to them both! Full video announcement is here

EXCLUSIVE: Terrell Owens trades Miami DUI arrest for autograph then throws after party! - TD
Papa Joe wants Jessica Simpson to dump Tony Romo - CNW
Info on Justin Timberlake's 901 tequila, reveals why he chose the name and where it will be sold - CS
Victoria Beckham needs to soften up her rock hard body - AB
Bruce Willis' marriage is doomed? - CW
Tara Reid pulls a Mariah Carey - PB
Can you guess what Simon Cowell just built in his $21.7 mansion? - GB
"If anyone is essentially going to assault you and leave blood pouring out of your mouf, you're going to want it to be Lady GaGa. Bitch is fierce!" - AG
Lil Wayne is joining forces with Blink-182? - RR
Neil Patrick Harris looking sexy in GQ magazine - B!
Tori Spelling's on the Mary-Kate diet - IBBB

Nicholas Hughes kills himself, the son of Ted Hughes and one of my favorites of all time, Sylvia Plath. His mother and stepmother also committed suicide. :(
Robin Williams' heart surgery is successful
Mathematician and author Winnie of The Wonder Years' Danica McKellar got married! :)
Matt Lauer gets hurt by running into a deer while riding his bike

"He [Barack Obama] doesn't understand fashion. He's always asking, 'Is that new? I haven't seen that before,'" she says. "It's like, 'Why don't you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.'"

She says her husband typically tells her things like: "You didn't need any more shoes. The shoes you had on yesterday were fine. Why can't you just wear that for the rest of the presidency?"

On her love of French fries:

Fries "are my favorite food in the whole wide world. I could live on French fries."

She says her greasy food habit hasn't rubbed off on daughters, Sasha, 10, and Malia, 7. "You figure, 'Well, we ate fine all week, guys, let's go get this.' They're like, 'No, Mommy, we won't be eating there.' And I feel like, 'Darn, where are we going to go?'"

Michelle is too friggin' cute!

Us Weekly via the New York Times

Dane Cook's Twitter is foul and perverse... and, in other words, I love it!