John Mayer Probably Dumped His Girlfriend Scheana Marie

John Mayer is many kinds of whore: man whore, attention whore, twitter whore, fame whore and I'm sure other kinds of whore that we don't know about. Did you read that, all? All those 'whore' references are gonna get me in trouble with my ad companies. Long, fun weekend. Maybe I'm still buzzing, that's my excuse.

After reports surfaced last week that Johnny is dating cocktail waitress Scheana Marie Jancan, John Player talked to the paparazzi - like he usually does to update them on his penis' whereabouts - and told X17 that he does not have a girlfriend. Translation: John Player ditched the cocktail waitress when their f*ckship went public.

John said,

"If I had a girlfriend, she would be incredibly offended by me saying, 'I don't have a girlfriend.' That's how you can be sure. I could say, 'I'm not with anybody.' That'd be a death wish if you were the woman. I'm not with anybody, you'd have to go home and take a lashing for the next three weeks! So that's the proof."

I dunno how John Player manages to get any girl. He's hot and talented, but I don't like jerks. You know that's not true at all but it does sound good on paper, doesn't it?