Shia LaBeouf on His Date With Rihanna: 'The Spark Wasn't There'

I did a lil research on my original Shia and Rihanna's date post.

Shia LaBeouf and Princess RiRi had a two and a half dinner date "that ended with strawberries and wine." Which I thought was code for foreplay before Shia took Rihanna her to his crib so he could get under her umbrella and make her rain. Cough. Which is code for grown folk's business with a happy ending.

Anyway, that just wasn't the case. Shia gives up the RiRi deets to Playboy magazine

"[I was] filming a sword fight when I got the message. I said, 'Can this be my life?'" he says. The duo set up a dinner date over text message -- but they never developed much of a relationship.

"It never got beyond one date. The spark wasn't there. We weren't passionate about each other in that way, so we remain friends."

What is Shia anyway, a romantic? The only spark that needs to be there is the one that goes off inside the light bulb in the lamp before he puts it down.