Kourtney Kardashian's Speed Dating Event Was a Failure

Even though Kourtney Kardashian has a Twitter, a website, famous siblings and reality television cameras and accompanying network websites to promote her, the turnout for Kourtney's speed dating event was embarrassing.

Khloe and Kourt put together the event which was being filmed for their new reality show. The Hollywood Gossip sent a staff member to check it out and "date" lil ol' Kourtney Kardashian.

Here's some hilarious first-hand details of what went down:

There couldn't have been more than a dozen dudes there. Good move holding the event in the middle of a work day. Are you trying to only set Kourtney up with jobless losers, Khloe?!?

There were also two SWAT guys, one police officer and multiple bouncers present; the 10 of us, which included at least one obvious homeless person, were almost outnumbered.

Finally, the event began.

Oddly, Khloe came out a couple moments later and personally invited me inside. The girls seemed strangely excited to meet me, which I later discovered was due to the good word put in on my behalf by a Miami Herald reporter that I had befriended in line.

I stood across from the sisters. Kourtney quietly asked how I was doing. Before I even had a chance to smile, Khloe practically leaped over the table and asked: HOW'S YOUR PENIS?!? (It was growing more frightened by the second.)

Almost every question was asked by Khloe (Kourtney uttered the occasional "I like that" and no more) and almost every question was sexual in nature: What...  CONTINUED