... her defenseless dog.

Paris Hilton and Douche Reinhardt are over now, or they're not, or she was sucking face with Cristiano Ronaldo, or I don't care.

All we know is that Paris Hilton doesn't have a steady boyfriend right now, so her pet will have to fill in. Wonky was photographed walking into MTV where she said that her and Cristiano are just friends who have sex.

Check out that strut! How can you walk around with a urinator dog like that while keeping a straight face?