Ellen DeGeneres: 'I'm Going to be a Great Judge'

Ellen DeGeneres is jumping the shark by signing on to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol. The hilarious host says she's heard that a lot of folks like myself are skeptical about her qualifications. On today's show, Portia de Rossi's wifey fires back.

Ellen DeGeneres says:

"I'll tell you right now, how I know I'm going to be a great judge ... I've spent my whole life being judged. So I know what it's like. So I will be kind. I will be compassionate. I will be empathetic, and I will be truthful. I will be an honest judge without being mean.

"I thought America had moved past this. First, we have the first African American President.  We've sworn in our first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice. I think American Idol is ready for their first blonde judge ... I do.

"I'm very excited to be on the show. I will tell you that right now. I just continue to be excited every single day."

Ellen then told Paula Abdul that she wants her wig back and that she has never patted her a*s like Paula did when she was dancing like her. As much as I disapprove of Ellen replacing Paula, she may prove everyone wrong. I'm interested in her showing us all what she's got!