Kevin Federline: Fat and Shirtless in Miami

Many of you know that my love for Daddy Dude runs deep. I actually thought that he was very attractive. It's like Kevin Federline had this raw sexiness that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

But the former backup dancer continues to gain weight and he's now the male version of Jelly Clarkson. Although K-Fat is turning into a blimp, I still wanna play with his boobs, slap him with a dildo, and make him scream my name while I taunt him with Oreos and whipped cream that I'll place all over my nekkid body. I dunno what this all means. Is the guy that I'm dating going to knock me up after a night of whipped cream foreplay, or do I still have a crush on Daddy D?