September 2009 News Archive (Page 9)

Wow! Khloe Kardashian has always seemed to be the only mildly intelligent and level headed of the Kardashian sisters. But Us Weekly magazine "has confirmed" that Khloe plans to get married to Los Angeles Lakers forward Lamar Odom in the next two weeks!

"Khloe and Lamar want to get married before Lamar has to go away for training, and the [basketball] season starts up [this fall].

"They are hoping to pull together a wedding within the next two weeks so they can get married and have time for a honeymoon. They haven't decided where they will say 'I Do,' but they are scouting out numerous locations, including Khloe's family home in Calabasas."

Seriously?!!! Their f*ckship began LESS than a month ago. Why do Khloe and Lamar have to get married to be together? We can all assume that they've already had sex, and unless she wants to pop out babies soon like her sister Kourtney Kardashian will, why the rush?!

Kate Gosselin will begin shooting the pilot for her new TV show this weekend!

The single mother of eight will join Paula Dean, Sandra Bernhard, and Melissa Etheridge's wife, Tammy Lynn Michaels, for a show about "a mix of advice, health, beauty tips and celebrity gossip." Ooooohh, great roster!

A source said, “Kate wants to work and feels she needs to earn more money to take care of her family.”

Uh yeah, Kate needs to earn more funds to take care of her mini-army. Jon Gosselin goes to the tabloids for paychecks, and TLC is bound to cancel Jon & Kate Plus Hate any day now. This is a good move and I think Kate will be great on the new show. She was a natural on The View this week.

I've already said that Miley Cyrus dresses like a prostitute, and she does. But she's a classy ho and I'm into that. I loved Miley's very adult look and I would wear the exact same outfit. Work it, you Disney slut, you!

Jordin Sparks also continues to get better with age while Jelly Clarkson went for a black gown. So smart! Jennifer Hudson needs to invest in wearing bigger dresses, cause although she just delivered a son, I've seen her gut long before she was even preggers and I don't think that will change anytime soon. Leona Lewis looked great per usual and Kathy Griffin's skin is much too pink for her to attempt to pull off a white dress. Not every color is for every ho. It says so in Cosmo.

Avril Lavigne's people did a great job writing her official separation statement. After months of rumors that Avril and her pug-faced hubby were on the rocks, the tomboy turned slut and her former Mr. issued a statement yesterday.

Avril is 24 years old and will be 25 soon. Avril says:

"Deryck and I have been together for 6-an-a-half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together, and I am grateful and blessed for our remaining friendship.

I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. He is the most amazing person I know and I love him with all my heart. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note."

Deryck has also issued a statement, but he doesn't sound as excited as Avril does about the split:

"The past 6 and a half years have been the most amazing years of my life. It's sad it has come to an end but Avril and I are still family and moving forward in the most positive way possible.

Our decision to part ways is amicable and she holds a special place in my heart and forever will be a great and amazing friend. Thanks to all our family, friends and fans for all the support."

Deryck, 29, and Avril have been reportedly living apart for a while now.

Good riddance, Deryck! He was way too fug and too short. B*tch is lucky she got out before she got tied down to him by having kids, although I'm curious about what different animals Deryck's spawn would look like.

Paula Abdul is a dancer and former choreographer, so executing Ellen DeGeneres' signature moves that Ellen does on her talk show must have been easy for Paula.

Paula Abdul looked like she had a little too much fun as she shook her a*s and acted just like Ellen does. It was perfection. Paula is obviously bitter, but at least she gets us all to laugh about it.

I'm in love with Amber Rose. Better get used to it. Kanye West's piece did a spread for Elle magazine's October issue. She is so on the map now.

Although the pictures are a bit racy and slutty for the magazine, who cares? I can't think of anyone with such a distinctive look and an overflow of confidence to spare. Here's Amber doing what she does best: posing. How can you not love this chick? She's just like, 'Them other b*tches ain't got sh*t on me!' in the picture above.

Lindsay Lohan aka little miss plump f*cked up lips, is acting like a true diva when she doesn't have any place to. The girl can't even land a good movie and she wants to pick who she sits by?

In true I-think-I'm-the-hottest-thing-to-walk-this-earth fashion, Lindsay didn't like who she was seated around at the G-star runway show and began moving other celebs seat cards.

"Lindsay decided she wasn't happy with the seating arrangements. She began taking the seating cards for celebrities like Juliette Lewis and Christian Siriano and moving them or throwing them on the floor," said our source. When she threw Taylor Momsen's place card to the floor, event producers approached her. Lohan responded, "Don't [bleep]ing touch me," and "rolled her eyes and continued moving the place cards."

Ugh, would somebody do me a favor and smack her around a bit? Child is off her rocker thinking she can pick who sits next to her. She looks thrilled to be photographed with Taylor Momsen doesn't she? Taylor should have sat on Lindsay's lap and ripped a good wet fart on her leg. I know, in my little world farts take care of everything.

Well hello there Rihanna's nips! At least she's enjoying herself while her ex douche is busy cleaning up horse poop in Virginia. 

Rihanna hit the streets in NYC wearing a see through tank and a scarf/vest thing on... I don't know what you call it! By the looks of the pics below, she's still rocking the nipple piercing too. Woot, woot!

Katherine Heigl has received her new adopted baby girl Naleigh, and she's cute!

Katherine and her hubby Josh Kelley adopted Naleigh, a child with special needs, from South Korea.

"Katherine, Josh and Naleigh are together and doing well," her rep said in a statement.

I don't know why, but I didn't see Katherine as the type to adopt a special needs child. Congratulations on your new daughter!

As sad as it may seem that Shoka and Nala were sent back to the breeder, I bet their happier than a dog eating kitty litter! If you had eight kids smacking you, tugging your ears, and pulling your hair, wouldn't you want to get the hell out of dodge?

Jon Gosselin sent the dogs back to the breeder where they originally came from and blames Kate for having to give them up. He says "It's not fair to the dogs to not be wanted in their own home," but Kate never really wanted those dogs in the first place.

Dogs are like kids, but they never grow up. They can't feed themselves or open a door to walk out and take a sh*t. Why they would want to take on the responsibility of raising dogs when they have eight kids is beyond me. Farewell Shoka and Nala, I'm sure you'll find a better home without a bunch of high strung children tugging at your tail.