Is it a slow news day when People magazine and UsWeekly are reporting that a monkey pissed on Kim Kardashian?

Without further ado, I, too, will report this life-changing news: a monkey peed on Kim Kardashian.

Kim said: I stopped by Katalyst while Ashton Kutcher was filming! They had this little monkey that the magician, Dynamo, made appear!

Kim initially thought that the monkey was "really cute."

"... But then he peed on me!! Ashton said the monkey had pooped on him, so I didn't feel too bad, haha. Gross little monkey!"  When you're paid $10k to mention a product in one of your tweets, and you have your own reality show and business empire, a little unexpected piss is apparently headline news.

No wonder Kim's the 6th most Googled celebrity of 2009. She writes a friggin' blog whenever she queefs.