Tiger Woods' Mistress Rachel Uchitel Offered to Take Lie Detector Test

Rachel Uchitel has slept around, but she wants us to think that she's innocent when it comes to Tiger Woods. Rachel says, "I told the [National] Enquirer and Star that it wasn't true. I told them not only did I have information to disprove the story, but I offered to take a lie-detector test."

Rachel then went on to explain who the National Enquirer's two "sources" are, claiming that one of them is "a f*cking hooker and wants money." I kind of like this chick.

Rachel said that the story's first "source" was invited to take a trip to Europe with Rachel but the trip ended "after a day" when her new friend fell down the stairs at a restaurant because she was so drunk. Rachel claims that it was "so embarrassing" to associate herself with said ho and it was "a total nightmare."

Rachel adds, "The whole thing's a lie. Tiger never told me he loved me. They said they overheard him saying he loved me. It's just stupid. I've never texted or talked to him on the phone...."

As if we're supposed to believe Rachel?