This is just too much for a well-versed in hypocrisy and biblical principles Christian woman like myself to take in. Pass me a tall glass of holy water, please!

Growing up in a religious household teaches you that every religious person vows to abstain until marriage. However, things change when the Jesus freaks enter their first romantic relationship and they find themselves in the interesting predicament of actually having someone to have sex with. Those who do wait until their honeymoon for awkward sex get married at 18 or 19, about the same time Bristol Palin got herself knocked up! She's a little off schedule with this whole abstinence-until-marriage thing, but she claims to be a born again virgin.

On last Friday's Oprah show, Bristol told the talk show giant that she won't have sex again until she's a Mrs. “I just think it’s a goal to have and other women should have that goal.”

Bristol has learned a lot recently. For example, being a teenager mother is, like, time consuming. “I have this big, supportive family and stuff, but I just felt so alone. I have a kid in my life and it’s my full-time job now.” She's also seeking almost $2k/ month in child support from Levi Johnston.

So basically, Bristol's just vowing to take birth control, take the morning after pill, date men that don't pull a Tiger Woods, or have an abortion. The pressure is on now, b*tch! And stop sending mixed messages. Bristol regrets having sex before marriage, she's glad she had her baby, she won't have sex again until marriage... She's following the script, but she should go for consistency at some point.