January 2010 News Archive (Page 9)

There's no typo in the post title, all. Heidi Montag's appropriately titled debut album, Superficial, has sold ONLY 658 COPIES! That must hurt more than 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day.

It also must hurt Heidi's checking account. Montag told Entertainment Weekly last week that she "went broke" making her debut disc because she believes that "within the first week, we will definitely make our money back."

Heidi didn't forecast this epic failure and her budget was steep because she believed that her songs "will make an impact in pop history." Heidi said, "I put every dollar I have into this. I've spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It's cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality."

Oooooohhh, gurl! Sounds like it's time for you to make a sextape or get Playboy to pay for another nude spread with your brand new pair of triple D's.

Some dude with a whole lotta forehead got himself engaged to Tara Reid, 34.

Tara and Michael had dinner at a restaurant in L.A. on Monday night when Michael asked her to marry him.

"Michael surprised Tara with a beautiful round brilliant cut ring. Tara was so happy, and the other patrons clapped and yelled out, 'Congratulations.'"

The topless Playboy model and Michael began dating last year. They're planning on getting hitched this summer.

Rihanna butchered Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" on the Oprah show yesterday, but she did look hot while doing it. I'll give her that.

Does Rihanna have a vocal coach? This chick spends more time sending nude pics and shopping than she does working on whatever it is she tries to do when she gets on stage. She'd make a hot stripper, but the singing needs some work.

WTF is going on with Jessica Simpson?

Is this naked dude Stefan from Top Chef?

Should sweat pants be banned in public?

Miranda Kerr looks fabulous in GQ Magazine

I'm in love with a Stripper and she's Martha Stewart

Mariah Carey says keeping her shoulders covered and having her tits hang out is acceptable

Val Kilmer used to be hot back in the Top Gun Days

You're missing some hilarious stuff if you're not watching Conan O'Brien this week

Charlie Daniels suffered a minor stroke

Kim Kardashian likes sticking round things in her mouth

Survivor Palau contestant Jennifer Lyon passed away after a five year battle with breast cancer. She was 37 years old.

Survivor: Panama - Exile Island contestant Austin Carty gave an interview with Us Magazine and talks about briefly dating Jennifer in 2006 and speaks highly of the type of person Jennifer was.

"Jen was a genuinely selfless, sweet-natured person.She always had a smile. She cared about every person."

Austin last saw Jennifer at a breast cancer charity event in 2008 and said "She was engaged in the greatest fight of her life, but she had every intention to fight and spread her positive messages."

Rest in peace Jenn.

Amy Winehouse is one lucky chick after pleading guilty of assaulting a theater manager and just being told to stay out of trouble for two years. Amy had gotten into an argument with the manager while at a theater to watch Cinderella.

He told Amy it would be wise to drink some water instead of booze before heading back to her seat because it was obvious she was already liquored up. According to E! online She proceeded to call him a 'f*cking c*nt' and pulled his hair. Man! She got that angry over a simple suggestion to drink water?

Amy was fined and ordered to pay "compensation of roughly $300 and given a two-year conditional discharge. Which means if she stays out of trouble for the next 24 months, she's a free woman. If not, well, in the judge's words, she'll be "hit hard...and hit twice."

Amy can't go longer than six months without some type of confrontation or drunken dispute, so she'll end up doing time before the two years is up. I'm amazed she's wearing those ballerina flats she always wore when she was with Blake, but this pair is actually clean! Who knew they were light pink and not mauve with splats of vomit and an essence of crack residue?

Charlie Sheen's wife Brooke Mueller, was rushed to the intensive care unit of a Los Angeles hospital last night with a 105 degree fever and infection resulting from surgery on an impacted wisdom tooth.

Brooke's lawyer Yale Galanter said "Brooke is in the hospital ICU related to the surgery for her impacted wisdom tooth. They are trying to get the infection and fever under control. The infection has spread."

People also reports that Charlie Sheen has been to the hospital to see Brooke despite the protective order put on him after he allegedly threatened to kill Jrooke on Christeas day. The court hearing regarding the dispute has been postponed several times due to the judges schedule and Brooke's tooth surgery.

In an interview with Access Hollywood, Heidi Montag reveals she almost died after having 10 plastic surgery procedures done in one day. She says she was given Demerol and her breathing became extremely slow.

“I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did and my breathing was five breaths per minute which is like almost dead. [I was] in an aftercare center, there were nurses that were supposed to be tending to me at all times. So thank God, Charles, one of my security guys used to be an EMT, was timing my breath on his watch and he called the nurses and they had to put oxygen on my face and called my plastic surgeon to come in for an emergency. So, it was a very traumatic experience for me.”

She also says she's gaining some movement in her face but it doesn't look like it's moving too much in the video. The girl is going to have a surprised look for the rest of her life because she went wild with the brow lift. Scary.

Baby making machine, Nadya Suleman is showing off her new bikini body in the latest issue of Star magazine. She's going to keep sucking the money out of the tabloids to help raise her kids for as long as she can.

In an eight-page special in Star, Nadya says she didn't have any plastic surgery done and lost the 150 pounds she gained during her pregnancy by exercising and dieting.

"I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it on my own, naturally. My friends call me Rubber Band because I always snapped back so quickly after my other kids!"

Octomom is full of crap. There's no way she could slim down and not have some crazy gut flab after having eight babies. Stretch marks don't magically disappear either, so I believe she had at least a tummy tuck done whether she's going to admit it or not. The octuplets' birthday is the 26th of this month, so I bet we'll see the birthday celebration photos or an exclusive video from the party next week. Gotta make that money!

Jennifer Aniston must have an amazing and magical naughty spot because John Mayer says he's "never really gotten over" his split with her and it was "one of the worst times of my life." Sounds like he had a case of being p*ssy whipped but couldn't see himself with her for the rest of his life.

"What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**king fantastic, if I said to her, 'I don't dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn't arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.'"

He's going to be on a long quest to find the right girl because he admits he's looking for the "Joshua Tree of vaginas." He should go back to Jennifer Love Hewitt now that she vagazzles her vajayjay. It doesn't get any better than that!