John Mayer Sounds Off On Tiger Woods' Sex Scandal

I've become very fond of John Mayer with his satirical tweets and his outlook on the world in general. Besides his singing ability, his humor makes him very humpable and he's now giving his take on the whole Tiger Woods sex scandals.

In a recent interview, John says if Tiger was a single man "what sort of angle would there be to a text message? If Tiger Woods was single, and he texted a girl and said 'I wanna wear your ass like a hat', why would that ever hit the news?" Good point, John. I think there would still be a fiasco over the texts even if Tiger was single because he never came off like a dude who was into sexting hot bitches. Just goes to show we don't know celebrities as well as we think we do. If only Tiger was sending those hot texts to men, we would really have a story!

John admits he sends dirty text messages to girls and it doesn't make the news because he's not married.

"If John Mayer has a wife and sends dirty texts, then we got a story.' And that's why I won't do that. When I get married that's gonna be my vows, 'Do you, John Mayer, take this woman to have and to hold, to wear her ass like headgear?' Yes, I do – you're the one whose ass I wanna wear like a hat for the rest of my life."

We totally get it John, but the problem is Tiger's married and was banging every female glory hole he could find. On a side note, John could wear my a** like a hat any time he wants and I'm always up for some kinky text messages, so look me up Johnny boy!