Purple magazine's staff members are some brave folks if they're going to put this picture on the cover of its new issue. Lindsay Lohan is photographed donning a white robe, a crown of thorns, and in the crucifix position for Purple's latest cover.

If there was a church that worshipped Lohan, it would be called the Church of Lindsaytology. Instead of holy water you bless yourself with vodka before snorting a line of cocaine. You would sing praises to mighty Lindsay's plumped lips and her Sunkist soda colored fake tan. I'm not a religious person but I would totally become a member of Lindsaytology just for the free vodka.