Nicole Snooki Polizzi is basically a black chick. She’s like darker than half my family and she looks fried and unattractive.

Snooki uses fake tan and then lays out and she overdoes it. Once upon a time she was actually cute, but now she comes well done.

Nearly every single day, pictures of Jenni J-Woww Farley, Mike Sorrentino and crew in Miami surface. MTV is paying them to get skin cancer. The paparazzi pics give the impression that the Jersey Shore cast heads to the beaches of Miami everyday, all day, but you know they ditch the beach and head home to get ready to go clubbing and “hookup” with local victims. Where are those pics? It’s time for a new season of fist pumps.