If you're like me, you stopped paying attention to Vh1 around the time it became a 24-hour dating service for washed up quasi-celebs like Flavor Flav and Tila Tequila.

You may wanna give the former mom-rock network a second chance, however, because the Courtney Love "Behind the Music," which premiered a few nights ago (and will no doubt air roughly 57,000 times during July, in keeping with the network's staunch commitment to original programming), is a shiny nugget of pure trashy gold.

There are too many highlights to post here, because the Love Child is a bottomless pit of crazy, with no qualms about spewing her weird, self-pitying BS all over anyone who will stand in front of her long enough. The best part for me, though, had to be Courtney's revelation of how she used to snap her druggy hubby, Kurt Cobain, out of his smack-induced stupors:

"He'd pass out and seek oblivion and I'd have to f***ing slap him and put pins in his balls and put ice cubes everywhere and it started to p**s me off... I started resenting that; I didn't like being a nursemaid."

Yes, being Love means never having to say you're sorry - unless, of course you stab someone in the balls. I mean, yeah, having a husband who routinely lapses into heroin comas would be annoying, but ya know what else would be annoying? - being repeatedly stabbed in the testicles with a needle!

Anyway, Courtney's Behind the Music special ends as they all do, with a bunch of crap about her ensuing comeback that makes it sound like she's an inspiration to all of us.

Really, though it's just a damn sad story and the real tragedy is that the human pin cushion and the walking venereal disease had a kid together who is now a teenager and probably just beginning to figure out what a messed up pair her parents were. Here's hoping Francis Bean can keep her distance from her herpes sore of a mother and find a way to escape the cycle of train wreck-ness.