I don't know what it is about Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson together that makes me want to gag, but it may be the fact that Jessica acts like there's a magnet in her arms and one in Eric's neck and she jumps on him and tongue f*cks him whenever he's within a one-foot radius.

This is the complete opposite of playing hard to get. She should just put a "Property of Eric Johnson" tattoo above her vajazzled vagina and call it a day.

Here are more pictures of Jessica and Eric in Italy. They're back in the States now, I think. Should you really be going on vacay a few weeks after you begin a f*ckship? You need to be around someone when they're farting, scratching their balls, passed out next to empty beer cans and smoking out with their friends when you walk in the door before you can go by how well someone treats you on a trip. Ya gotta set the bar low so you can think he's a prince when he skips showering one day instead of two vs. hanging out on a yacht and experiencing the fun side of him first.

Jess needs to pump the brakes. I just think there's something so tragic about a younger sibling getting hitched and having kids first. Jess has like five years on Ashlee. I hope this ends well.