Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian Bikini Pics From Miami

I hate these 'Let's show everyone we're hot b*tches!' staged paparazzi photoshoots at the beach. You always know it's bullsh*t cause the main attention whore in the water tends to be done up in full makeup while wearing sunglasses, heels, a Louis Vuitton bag, sporting dry hair, and holding a chihuahua. The sun doesn't even have to be out, either, cause sometimes you just have to work with the paps' schedule and be happy that they've penciled you in. Makes you wonder how long these photoshoots take.

Kimmy knows a lot about the paparazzi. They keep her famous and they show up when she goes for yogurt with Justin Bieber. Kourtney Kardashian also works my nerves, but that doesn't stop me from watching Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami or Keeping Up With the Kardashians, cause scripted reality TV can be good.

Also, I never knew that Kim Kardashian's waist was SO tiny. Insider "secret," well it's not really that big of a deal, but I'll hype it: Some female celebrities remove some of their ribs to cinch in their waist so they'll appear smaller. Hmmm...