Rachel Uchitel: Celebrity Rehab Bound

Rachel Uchitel will not compete on Celebrity Apprentice because she will now appear on Celebrity Rehab. 

Sources connected to the production tell us Uchitel had originally turned down the show -- but after  producers DOUBLED their offer and Dr. Drew personally paid Uchitel a visit, Rachel changed her mind.

Uchitel will make around $500,000 for her stint on the show.

Rachel says that she hopes to break her addiction to pills. This addiction confession conveniently comes from the chick who would pop Ambiens before f*cking Tiger Woods. You can't make this stuff up!

Celebrity Rehab is a joke and Dr. Drew is an a-hole and new reports have surfaced that sausage lips has a crush on Dr. Drew. You know that's true because Dr. Drew is married with kids and those are the men that Rachel goes for. It's a shame she's not competing on the show to learn to love herself and take the right steps to create healthy romantic relationships. Ideally, if the show could make a breakthrough in her whoring out, that would be great, but that's not gonna happen cause Rachel would be too busy giving head to married camera crew members and putting her cleavage in Dr. Drew's face.

Janice Dickinson, Jeremy London, Jason Wahler, Jason Davis and Keyshia Cole's mom have all signed on.

Here's a video of my interview with Dr. Drew that I'm posting just to remind people that he is an a-hole. The feeling is mutual dude.