When you get your breasts done, they become much harder than they would be naturally, therefore, according to Heidi Montag, you gotta keep the artificial girls soft by massaging them.

Montag tweeted, "Giving my self a soft tissue breast massage. Ladies we have to keep those implants soft."

She tweeted on Tuesday that, "Warning: to anyone who is thinking about getting their ears pinned, I learned after the fact it is the most painful surgery a person can get."

This how-to-take-care-of-your-fake-tits advice is coming from the same person who allegedly wants to downsize her clown boobs, which seems odd. Heidi needs to take out those implants cause she'll be looking like a National Geographic refugee before she knows it. This slut also amazes me with her ability to make headlines over the dumbest crap! This story was everywhere and should I even call it a "story?" I don't care what the haters say, Heidi is a master manipulator and she just may be a genius.