Full confession time: I love me some cigarettes. Seriously, I know it's a disgusting, expensive habit that's slowly killing me, but whenever I'm bored, or stressed, or awake, I smoke to calm my nerves and keep myself from murdering people like the b!tch at Starbucks who finds new and interesting ways to f*ck up my order every single day. That said, I think there's a special place in hell for people who smoke while they're pregnant.

So, in case recording terrible music and generally being an annoying b!tch wasn't enough, Kim Zolciak has decided to land herself on the sh!tlist of the four remaining people in the world who like her by smoking in public while three months pregnant. That's terrible! This unborn fetus has enough going against him with a drunken cougar for a mom and the kind of dad who would impregnate Kim Zolciak. The last thing he needs is to come out of the womb with a taste for Newports and pinot noir. Yeah, I just threw drinking in there, too. Why not? I always just assume the worst when it comes to this b!tch.

The truly shocking thing here isn't that Kim smoked while pregnant, but that she did it in public and allowed herself to get her pic snapped by TMZ. Here's the deal Kim: the real celebrities - say, the Kanye Wests of the world - can get away with doing scandalous sh!t because their talent will keep them in the spotlight, even if everyone finds them annoying. But you're a reality star. You're like a politician; all you have is your public image. You don't see Sarah Palin doing stupid and dangerous things with her kids...oh, wait. Never mind!