When Jersey Shore first began, you were a major standout on the show. With a name like "The Situation," we were all intrigued to find out what the situation regarding The Situation was.

We soon learnt that going to the gym, tanning, and doing laundry weren't the only things that you were good at. You were really good with the customers who would come into the T-shirt store at the Jersey boardwalk. You laughed and joked around with your roommates, and without hesitation, you cooked and cleaned for everyone and rarely complained about it.

You have some redeeming qualities, but they now pale in comparison to your chauvinistic views and self-centered approach. Your life, according to what footage makes it to television, has been put under the microscope and what we've seen on Jersey Shore season 2 is nothing less than disturbing. In an entourage that includes Nicole Snooki Polizzi, Angelina, and psycho Sammi Giancola, that speaks volumes.

Michael, if one of your housemates is creeping on a girl, that is not an open invitation to "commit a robbery." If a girl goes home with you, at any hour of the day, night or morning, she is not obligated to bang you. Fans support "stars" whose talent(s) and achievements they admire. Outside of looking greasy at all times, we have yet to figure out what your talent is exactly. We see better bodies everyday at the beach or in Men's Health magazine, therefore we're only left with your personality, which, just like Bristol Palin's, totally sucks.

You're no longer attractive because you have muscles. You're no longer the dude I would bang at a frat party even when I wasn't drugged. You're a douche, baby, and you can kiss your empire goodbye because you are the new Speidi unless you clean up your act on Jersey Shore season 3.

Not surprisingly, your book is in the 481st spot on Amazon's Bestseller List, and your untalented @ss got voted off of Dancing With the Stars a few weeks in. Where are the "Situation Nation" fans when you need 'em? The answer will be 'gone forever' unless you get it together and fast.