Brits are weird. If two celebrities get married in America, all it means is that we get to look forward to the divorce drama, where they both reveal what a scum bag the other one is in private. Brits, on the other hand, base major decisions about who will be in charge of their country for the next few decades on whether or not a famous 28 year-old is getting laid.

Prince William announced his engagement to longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton today, and the initial reaction of a lot of Americans was probably something along the lines of, "Who gives a sh!t? They've been dating for like ten years." True, but now that they're making it official, Kate's gonna be a friggin queen! Girls squeal and cry when some guy with a neck tattoo and a part-time job at Jiffy Lube pops the question, can you imagine the reaction of a girl who just found out she's gonna be a princess? Throw in a pony and you pretty much have the classic girl fantasy come true.

Yep, Kate's young and hot now, but one day she'll be a withered-@ss queen like Elizabeth II. Pretty people getting old makes me sad.

The couple got engaged in Kenya last month (Kenya?! I wanna see birth certificates from these socialists!), but just made the official announcement this morning. They're expected to marry in London in the spring or summer of next year, at which time the entire world will sh!t its collective pants and begin scrutinizing every move Kate makes for the rest of her life, starting with making fun of her wedding gown.

Congrats to the happy couple. Here's hoping things work out a bit better than they did for William's mum and dad.